The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
The bar chart below compares the
number
of closed
shops
with the
number
of
new
Change the adjective
newly
show examples
opened
ones
in a particular country over a
7 year
Add a hyphen
7-year
show examples
period
.
Overall
. We can see that at the beginning of the study
period
the region had
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
dynamic economy because
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more
shops
were opening rather than closing,
however
at the end
of the study
period
Add a comma
period,
show examples
the region seems to
encounter
Wrong verb form
have encountered
show examples
a recession
due to
the fact that the
number
of closed
shops
overtook the opened
ones
. In 2011, about 8500 businesses commenced and 6500 shoppers finished their activities.
However
, after just one year the
number
of opened
shops
reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
less than half about 4000
shops
in 2012.
Then
, the opened and closed
shops
experienced some fluctuations by 2014. From 2014 to 2015 a beneficial
economical
Correct word choice
economic
show examples
phenomenon happened and the
number
of closed
shops
fell sharply, to just 500
shops
,
whereas
the
number
of opening
shops
saw a moderate reduction and was about 4000 by 2017.
After
this
year, the
closed
Correct quantifier usage
number of closed
show examples
shops
increased again and remained stable at approximately 5000
ones
to the end of the study
period
, but the
opening
Correct quantifier usage
number of opening
show examples
shops
dropped
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
least about 3000
ones
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in 2018.
Submitted by golriiz23 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, shops, ones, period with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • decline
  • surge
  • stabilize
  • correlation
  • economic conditions
  • consumer behavior
  • technological advancements
  • urban development
  • employment
  • retail sector
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