The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
The bar chart below compares the
number
of closed shops
with the number
of new
opened Change the adjective
newly
ones
in a particular country over a 7 year
Add a hyphen
7-year
period
.
Overall
. We can see that at the beginning of the study period
the region had more
dynamic economy because Correct article usage
a more
the
more Correct article usage
apply
shops
were opening rather than closing, however
at the end
of the study period
the region seems to Add a comma
period,
encounter
a recession Wrong verb form
have encountered
due to
the fact that the number
of closed shops
overtook the opened ones
.
In 2011, about 8500 businesses commenced and 6500 shoppers finished their activities. However
, after just one year the number
of opened shops
reached to
less than half about 4000 Change preposition
apply
shops
in 2012. Then
, the opened and closed shops
experienced some fluctuations by 2014.
From 2014 to 2015 a beneficial economical
phenomenon happened and the Correct word choice
economic
number
of closed shops
fell sharply, to just 500 shops
, whereas
the number
of opening shops
saw a moderate reduction and was about 4000 by 2017. After
this
year, the closed
Correct quantifier usage
number of closed
shops
increased again and remained stable at approximately 5000 ones
to the end of the study period
, but the opening
Correct quantifier usage
number of opening
shops
dropped to
Change preposition
at
the
least about 3000 Correct article usage
apply
ones
in 2018.Correct pronoun usage
apply
Submitted by golriiz23 on
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, shops, ones, period with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
▼
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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