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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that exercise is the key to good health while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #exercise #health #diet
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Some
people
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 hold the view that doing
exercise
Use synonyms
 is a
way
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 of good
health
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while
Linking Words
 others consider that
their
Change the word
a
show examples
 balanced
diet
Use synonyms
 is much more important .In my point of view,doing suitable
exercise
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 plays a more important role in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
health
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. On the one hand,several individuals
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that following a balanced
diet
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 will lead to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good
health
Use synonyms
.
To begin
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 with,a healthy
diet
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 can decrease the risk of diseases.To explain,eating is a
signifiant
Correct your spelling
significant
 demand in their daily lives.If they follow a balanced
eatin
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
 which
is
Verb problem
includes
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 no fried food and oily food day by day,it will result in their healthy
bodies
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 immediately.
Apart from
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this
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,another advantage is that it can help
people
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 cultivate their
health
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 much longer.To explain,when in
coparison
Correct your spelling
comparison
 with other ways,it is said to be an easy
way
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 to follow and help improve their
health
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 much longer.It may lead to a body which is full of energy by having a balanced
diet
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everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
.
On the other hand
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,it seems to me that doing
exercise
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 is the
better
Correct word choice
best
show examples
way
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 to gain a healthy body.In the first place,doing
exercise
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regulary
Correct your spelling
regularly
 can improve
individual’s
Correct article usage
an individual’s
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 physical
health
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.
In particular
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,by following that
way
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everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
,their
bodies
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 will produce a type of hormone which can cultivate their resistance to
agianst
Correct your spelling
against
 the change
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
external
Correct article usage
the external
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 environment.In the second place,
besides
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 the improvements in their physical
health
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 ,it can
also
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get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
bring
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good mental
health
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.
People
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 think that good mental
healths
Fix the agreement mistake
health
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lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to the
health
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in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their
bodies
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.
As a result
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,in the
way
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 that
people
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exercise
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reulary
Correct your spelling
regularly
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
 can decrease some of
mental
Add an article
the mental
show examples
 problems
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
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stressed
Replace the word
stress
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,
sepression
Correct your spelling
depression
,etc,and
also
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 improve their
health
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bodies
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 level. In conclusion,it is a common belief that having a healthy and balanced
diet
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 is a
way
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 to have
a good
Correct the article-noun agreement
a good body
good bodies
show examples
bodies
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.In my point of view,
however
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,I consider that doing
exercise
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 is still the better
way
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 to
gian
Correct your spelling
get
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good
health
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by tranthitotam05111983 on

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task response
Ensure that you clearly address both views in the essay. It is important to provide arguments and examples for both the belief that exercise is key to good health and the belief that a balanced diet is more important.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to the logical structure of your essay. Ensure that your ideas flow in a clear and organized manner, making it easy for the reader to follow your arguments.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your essay. Try to incorporate more academic or formal words and phrases to express your ideas.
grammatical range
Work on improving your grammatical accuracy. Pay attention to the agreement of verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cardiovascular health
  • Metabolism
  • Chronic diseases
  • Immune system
  • Mental well-being
  • Nutrients
  • Malnutrition
  • Obesity
  • Type 2 diabetes
  • Circulation
  • Nutrient distribution
  • Preventive health
  • Energy levels
  • Balanced diet
  • Essential nutrients
What to do next:
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