IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that exercise is the key to good health while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some
people
Use synonyms
 hold the view that doing
exercise
Use synonyms
 is a
way
Use synonyms
 of good
health
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 others consider that
their
Change the word
a
show examples
 balanced
diet
Use synonyms
 is much more important .In my point of view,doing suitable
exercise
Use synonyms
 plays a more important role in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
health
Use synonyms
. On the one hand,several individuals
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that following a balanced
diet
Use synonyms
 will lead to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good
health
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,a healthy
diet
Use synonyms
 can decrease the risk of diseases.To explain,eating is a
signifiant
Correct your spelling
significant
 demand in their daily lives.If they follow a balanced
eatin
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
 which
is
Verb problem
includes
show examples
 no fried food and oily food day by day,it will result in their healthy
bodies
Use synonyms
 immediately.
Apart from
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
,another advantage is that it can help
people
Use synonyms
 cultivate their
health
Use synonyms
 much longer.To explain,when in
coparison
Correct your spelling
comparison
 with other ways,it is said to be an easy
way
Use synonyms
 to follow and help improve their
health
Use synonyms
 much longer.It may lead to a body which is full of energy by having a balanced
diet
Use synonyms
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,it seems to me that doing
exercise
Use synonyms
 is the
better
Correct word choice
best
show examples
way
Use synonyms
 to gain a healthy body.In the first place,doing
exercise
Use synonyms
regulary
Correct your spelling
regularly
 can improve
individual’s
Correct article usage
an individual’s
show examples
 physical
health
Use synonyms
.
In particular
Linking Words
,by following that
way
Use synonyms
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
,their
bodies
Use synonyms
 will produce a type of hormone which can cultivate their resistance to
agianst
Correct your spelling
against
 the change
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
external
Correct article usage
the external
show examples
 environment.In the second place,
besides
Linking Words
 the improvements in their physical
health
Use synonyms
 ,it can
also
Linking Words
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
bring
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good mental
health
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
 think that good mental
healths
Fix the agreement mistake
health
show examples
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to the
health
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their
bodies
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
,in the
way
Use synonyms
 that
people
Use synonyms
exercise
Use synonyms
reulary
Correct your spelling
regularly
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
 can decrease some of
mental
Add an article
the mental
show examples
 problems
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
stressed
Replace the word
stress
show examples
,
sepression
Correct your spelling
depression
,etc,and
also
Linking Words
 improve their
health
Use synonyms
bodies
Use synonyms
 level. In conclusion,it is a common belief that having a healthy and balanced
diet
Use synonyms
 is a
way
Use synonyms
 to have
a good
Correct the article-noun agreement
a good body
good bodies
show examples
bodies
Use synonyms
.In my point of view,
however
Linking Words
,I consider that doing
exercise
Use synonyms
 is still the better
way
Use synonyms
 to
gian
Correct your spelling
get
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good
health
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that you clearly address both views in the essay. It is important to provide arguments and examples for both the belief that exercise is key to good health and the belief that a balanced diet is more important.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to the logical structure of your essay. Ensure that your ideas flow in a clear and organized manner, making it easy for the reader to follow your arguments.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your essay. Try to incorporate more academic or formal words and phrases to express your ideas.
grammatical range
Work on improving your grammatical accuracy. Pay attention to the agreement of verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cardiovascular health
  • Metabolism
  • Chronic diseases
  • Immune system
  • Mental well-being
  • Nutrients
  • Malnutrition
  • Obesity
  • Type 2 diabetes
  • Circulation
  • Nutrient distribution
  • Preventive health
  • Energy levels
  • Balanced diet
  • Essential nutrients
What to do next:
Look at other essays: