77.As countries develop, more and more people buy and use their own cars. Do you think the advantages of this trend for individuals outweigh the disadvantages for the environment?

It is argued that an increasing number of people are purchasing their own
cars
.
This
essay would argue that despite it being easier to travel around, it causes huge damage to the environment, which means that the advantages do not outweigh the disadvantages. The main advantage of buying a private
car
is that it is easier for individuals to travel around.
This
is because public
transport
may take a longer time and many changes in
transport
may be needed to get to the destination, so by
car
is quicker and easier.
Also
, there are many
cars
that are cheap, which is affordable by almost everyone, and sometimes using
cars
can be cheaper than using other means of
transport
.
For example
, in some European countries, people prefer to use the
car
because they do not often go to far places, and using one or two times public
transport
is more expensive than using a
car
.
However
, new public
transport
routes are being created, so people can get to more places, so
this
is not a significant benefit. The disadvantage is that the increasing number of vehicles on roads is increasing contamination.
This
is because there are more
cars
emitting gas, and need more fuel, and
this
causes air pollution, reducing the fresh air,
as a consequence
, new diseases related to the respiratory system are found, and
this
causes life danger to all humans. Recent research concluded that in the
last
decades, there has been an increase in cases of asthma and other respiratory-related diseases caused by the increase in air pollution.
Therefore
, I would argue that the drawbacks of the increasing number of private
cars
are more significant than the benefits. In conclusion,
although
cars
may simplify routes,
this
development damages the planet, for these reasons, the negatives far outnumber the positives.
Submitted by elenazheng1211 on

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task response
The essay provides a general answer to the question, but it lacks depth and specific examples to support the argument. More detailed and specific examples would strengthen the response.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Additionally, the logical structure of the essay could be improved by organizing ideas more coherently and cohesively.
lexical resource
The essay uses a range of vocabulary and terminology appropriately, but there is room for improvement in using more advanced and varied vocabulary to enhance the lexical resource.
grammatical range
There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing in the essay. A more varied and complex range of grammatical structures would benefit the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • personal mobility
  • convenience
  • commuting
  • quality of life
  • personalized space
  • carbon emissions
  • global warming
  • air pollution
  • traffic congestion
  • environmental degradation
  • resource depletion
  • electric vehicles
  • carpooling
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