Investment in local amenities such as leisure centres is the best way for the government to foster a good community spirit. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

#investment #amenities #leisure #centres #government #community #spirit #measures

Nowadays some local authorities from first-world countries intervene in communities to improve their cohesion. Some people say they should invest in facilities and services, like the entertainment industry. In

this

essay. I will outline the main reasons why I agree with the statement and give examples of different measurements that could be taken. First of all, the main reason to spend money on the creation of social places in communities is

due to

the chance to meet your neighbours better and live in harmony. Paying to build more places to share will improve relationships and give society positive energy.

For example

, if inhabitants of the same neighbourhood meet each other at social

events

, they will share personal details that would make their connection stronger as part of a community.

As a result

, it would create a better atmosphere between them.

In addition

, another estimation to consider is to introduce child sportive

events

to make stronger relationships within the community. Participating in public physical celebrations will bring children and parents together in a specific event and give them a common purpose to commemorate.

As a result

, the sports activities will improve not only the child's physic and relation with others but

also

strengthen the family's bonds.

For instance

, children will get support from family and friends in a sports event if they participate actively in these types of

events

To conclude

, I agree that investing in and improving facilities and services in a group is the most effective way for authorities to maintain good vibes in local communities.

Moreover

, it would bring people together and improve their interaction.

Besides

. creating sports

events

will bring a region and families together.

Submitted by Andrea Barreto on Mon Nov 13 2023

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Introduction

The introduction lacks clarity and depth. It should clearly state the writer's opinion and outline the main points that will be discussed in the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay lacks a clear structure. Each paragraph should present a clear main idea and support it with relevant examples.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat repetitive and lacks variety. Try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely.

Grammatical Range

There are several grammatical errors throughout the essay. Focus on sentence structure, verb tenses, and agreement to improve overall grammatical accuracy.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

278 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

foster
ammunities
leisure centre
sense of togetherness
boost the local economy
inclusive events
diverse range
instil a sense of pride
shared identity
accessibility and connectivity
public green spaces
community bonding
frequent community service projects
community-based educational programs
promotes physical health

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Investment in local amenities such as leisure centres is the best way for the government to foster a good community spirit. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

You have recently started work in a new company. Write a letter to an English-speaking friend. In your letter, explain why you have changed your job describe your new job tell him/her your other news

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changes because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?