Investment in local amenities such as leisure centres is the best way for the government to foster a good community spirit. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?
Nowadays some local authorities from first-world countries intervene in communities to improve their cohesion. Some people say they should invest in facilities and services, like the entertainment industry. In
this
essay. I will outline the main reasons why I agree with the statement and give examples of different measurements that could be taken.
First of all, the main reason to spend money on the creation of social places in communities is due to
the chance to meet your neighbours better and live in harmony. Paying to build more places to share will improve relationships and give society positive energy. For example
, if inhabitants of the same neighbourhood meet each other at social events
, they will share personal details that would make their connection stronger as part of a community. As a result
, it would create a better atmosphere between them.
In addition
, another estimation to consider is to introduce child sportive events
to make stronger relationships within the community. Participating in public physical celebrations will bring children and parents together in a specific event and give them a common purpose to commemorate. As a result
, the sports activities will improve not only the child's physic and relation with others but also
strengthen the family's bonds. For instance
, children will get support from family and friends in a sports event if they participate actively in these types of events
.
To conclude
, I agree that investing in and improving facilities and services in a group is the most effective way for authorities to maintain good vibes in local communities. Moreover
, it would bring people together and improve their interaction. Besides
. creating sports events
will bring a region and families together.Submitted by Andrea Barreto on
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Introduction
The introduction lacks clarity and depth. It should clearly state the writer's opinion and outline the main points that will be discussed in the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay lacks a clear structure. Each paragraph should present a clear main idea and support it with relevant examples.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is somewhat repetitive and lacks variety. Try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely.
Grammatical Range
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