These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

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Introduction

Nowadays, more and more fathers stay

home

Use synonyms

to take care of their children

while

Linking Words

the mother is at work. Many reasons could explain

this

Linking Words

positive development.

Body · 1

To begin

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this

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phenomenon could be explained by the phenomenal advancement in women’s rights. Women have more freedom than ever before, and in front of the

law

Add a comma

law,

show examples

they are equal to men.

However

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, there was still progress to be made as a society.

For instance

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, mothers are still expected to stay at

home

Use synonyms

and clean the house,

while

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the man is working. Fortunately, a lot of new laws were passed in order to change

this

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situation. Now, workers are allowed to take

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

paid leave in order to take care of their newborn baby, no matter the gender, which leads to an equal share of dads leaving their office for their children.

Body · 2

This

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leads to many positive outcomes.

Firstly

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, women are now not considered

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a burden which has to go back to their

Use synonyms

home

Fix the agreement mistake

homes

show examples

because of their children.

Secondly

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, young couples are seeing that having a baby will not disadvantage them in the workplace. It could ultimately be a way of fighting against the low fertility rate in our country.

Finally

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, it shows citizens the importance of democratic

value

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values

show examples

, by,

for example

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, showing that both genders are equally important to society.

Conclusion

To conclude

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, many reasons explain the fact that dads are staying

home

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, the most important being new laws that were passed.

This

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caused a positive effect, including a more inclusive and more aware society.

santos_dij

Nov 13, 2023

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task response

For task response: You answer both parts of the question, but your reasons are a bit narrow. Add one more clear reason why fathers stay home, such as job pay, work time, or child care cost.

task response

For task response: Your view is clear and positive, but some ideas are too general. Explain more how this change helps children, fathers, and mothers in real life.

task response

For task response: Use more real and specific examples. For example, talk about one family, one work rule, or one country case.

coherence and cohesion

For coherence and cohesion: Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good. To make it better, use clearer links between ideas so each point grows step by step.

coherence and cohesion

For coherence and cohesion: The second body part is easy to follow, but it reads like a list. Try to develop one point more before moving to the next point.

coherence and cohesion

For coherence and cohesion: Some lines are not fully smooth, such as the move from women’s rights to leave laws. Add a short link sentence to connect these ideas.

task response

For task response: You answer both questions and clearly say this is a positive development.

task response

For task response: Your main idea about women’s rights and new laws is relevant to the topic.

coherence and cohesion

For coherence and cohesion: Your essay has a clear introduction and a clear conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

For coherence and cohesion: You use simple paragraphing well, and the order of ideas is easy to follow.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

252 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

breadwinner
caregiving
paternal leave
societal perceptions
gender roles
flexible working conditions
personal preference
father-child relationship
emotional and social development
household responsibilities
career opportunities
professional achievements
balanced parenting
earning potential
social stigma
societal pressure
discrimination
traditional mindsets
resentment
adjustment

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These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

More developing countries are being given aid by international organizations to help them in their development plans. Some people argue that financial aid is important but others suggest that practical aid and advice are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Formal examinations are the only effective way to assess a student's performance. Continual assessment such as course work and projects is not a satisfactory way to do this. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? In what other ways the assessment of a child can be done?

Art classes ,such as painting and drawing,are as important to a child's development as other subjects,so it should be compulsory in high school.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the past, people stored knowledge in books. Nowadays, people store knowledge on the internet. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Many feel that students today should learn practical skills at school such as car maintenance and managing a bank account. To what extent do you agree or disagree?