Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Funding
on
Change preposition
for
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railways
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, or roads by governments is argued by
people
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nowadays. Many may say, and I agree,
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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that only when governments spend their budget on
railways
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, can traffic, and emissions of pollution which are made by
vehicles
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on roads decrease.
However
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, not only does it
requires
Correct subject-verb agreement
require
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a huge amount of money, but
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also
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apply
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it might not be accessible for everyone, because of its cost, or its distance. The main reason for some
people
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's disagreement with
this
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probably is their disability to
use
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railways
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.
For example
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,
people
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who live in villages may not be able to
use
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trams, trains, and other railway
vehicles
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, because it is far.
On the other hand
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, villagers may not earn enough money to spend on using them, so they prefer to
use
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their animals or tractors
instead
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.
Besides
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, weak governments like Iran cannot afford the cost, so they are not able to upgrade their
railways
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anyway.
However
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, we cannot deny how many merits using
railways
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have.
For instance
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, many
vehicles
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are being used by single-seaters on roads. Encouraging
people
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to
use
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railways
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can decrease air pollution as they will not
use
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their cars or bikes anymore. To achieve that, Some countries offer
people
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to
use
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railway
vehicles
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, so they can
use
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second time for free.
Moreover
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,
this
Linking Words
can avoid traffic which is another aspect of pollution.
That is
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how
people
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can be on time, and they can even rest on their way in railway
vehicles
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. In conclusion, not until we expand and develop
railways
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, can we achieve these goals. All of these can help us have a healthy environment.
Submitted by hanarad41 on

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task response
The essay addresses the task but lacks development and depth. Provide more comprehensive and balanced arguments to fully respond to the prompt.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a satisfactory logical structure and uses cohesive devices adequately. However, some paragraphs lack unity and coherence. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a central idea to improve overall cohesion.
lexical resource
The essay displays a range of vocabulary, but there are instances of inaccurate word choices and awkward phrasing. Use more precise and appropriate vocabulary to enhance lexical resource.
grammatical range
There are evident grammatical errors throughout the essay, including subject-verb agreement and awkward sentence structures. Aim for greater accuracy and complexity in sentence structures to improve grammatical range.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
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