IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table and chart below gives information on the police budget for 20017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. the table shows where the money came fromand the charts show how it was distributed. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table and chart below gives information on the police budget for 20017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. the table shows where the money came fromand the charts show how it was distributed. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #police #budget #area #britain #money #fromand #show #summaries #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The table reveals the amount of income from three different sources and the pie charts illustrate the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of expenditures in three categories. These data represent a specific city
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Britain from 2017 to 2018. In general, it can be seen that National Government accounted for
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
 of the revenue,
while
Linking Words
 salaries accounted for the largest
proportion
Use synonyms
 of expenditure. In detail, all the sources of income had experienced a marked increase.
National
Correct article usage
The National
show examples
 Government provided most of the revenue,
had risen
Wrong verb form
rising
show examples
 from 175.5m in 2017 to 177.8m in 2018.
Similarly
Linking Words
, local taxes had increased from 91.2m to 102.3m in the same period. The
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
proportion
Use synonyms
 of income, other sources like grants,
also
Linking Words
 increased gradually from 38m to 38,5m in the following period.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, with regard to expenditures, salaries, representing a significant
proportion
Use synonyms
 of expenditure
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
fell from three-quarters to below seven in ten of the totals in 2018. At 8%, technology was the smallest number of the expenditure,
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
experienced
Correct article usage
an increased
show examples
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 to 14% in 2018.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the total spending
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 buildings and transport remained constant at 17% the same year.
Submitted by diyolory on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, m with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: