IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The Best way to reduce poverty in developing countries is by giving up to six years of free education, so that they can at least read, write and use numbers. To what extent do you agree or disage?

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The developed
countries
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 have an advanced
education
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system
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, especially in primary
school
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 and high
school
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. Some people say the best way to mitigate the
poverty
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 rate is by giving the children a Free
education
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system
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. I agree that successful
countries
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 should turn primary
school
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 unpaid. I feel that for two reasons which I will explore in the following essay.
Initially
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, recently
poverty
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 increased drastically and that has had a bad effect in many fields
such
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 as the
education
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system
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in addition
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 the nation has been scared to engage their descendants in acceptable schools.
Hence
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, the developed
countries
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 have a high rate of poor classes and
that is
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 contentious.
Therefore
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, the brilliant choice to dwindle that matter is to make
education
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 free at least for primary
school
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.
For instance
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, The United States has a free
education
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system
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 from elementary
school
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 until high
school
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, which leads individuals to acknowledge the full materials. Despite
this
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, there are several significant benefits for developed
countries
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 if they implement new roles for poor families, like, giving them the full access to educate their children with no cost required because that will assist the youngest to recognize the basic subject. It can be clearly seen that there are some family who can't teach their kids in a paid
school
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.
For example
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, Asia has a high portion of
poverty
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 which leads the society to a lack of knowledge with an increase in illiteracy. In conclusion, It is frequently said that developed
countries
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 should give a free
education
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system
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 for poor families because the portion of
poverty
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 increased widely and that will mitigate these issues
as well as
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 that will elevate the cognitive rate.

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Task Achievement
Ensure that the essay closely addresses the specific prompt by providing a clear position throughout the essay and exploring the extent to which you agree or disagree.
Task Achievement
Ideas should be fully expanded with clear, relevant examples to support your points. Examples provided should directly tie back to the main argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices and transition words to link ideas and paragraphs together, while ensuring logical progression of thoughts.
Coherence & Cohesion
The conclusion should succinctly and effectively summarize the essay's main points, providing a final perspective on the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • long-term benefits
  • literacy rates
  • economic outcomes
  • social inequalities
  • equal opportunities
  • skilled labor force
  • foreign investment
  • eradicate poverty
  • healthcare
  • job creation
  • implementation
  • funding
  • infrastructure
  • trained teachers
  • vocational training
  • technical training
  • socio-economic contexts
  • one size might not fit all
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