Some people think that the best way to be successful in life is to get a university education. Others disagree and say that nowadays, this is no longer true. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some of the communities argue that the best approach to becoming a successful human being is going to college.
However
, with the development of science and technology, other people believe there are many methods to make the dream come true
instead
of getting a bachelor's degree.To me, I don’t see getting an education at a university as the only way to succeed. On the one hand,
firstly
, most of the high school students enter college
due to
they have no idea what exactly they should do in their future career.
Moreover
, the pupils don’t have enough professional knowledge and ability for the job they want to do .
Additionally
, universities not only supply academic study but
also
teach students essential life skills
such
as critical thinking, problem-solving, and effective communication.
Lastly
, the networking opportunities generally provided by the universities are instrumental for one’s future career.
On the other hand
, we are living in a digital generation
we
Rephrase
where we
show examples
can acquire knowledge from the internet.
For instance
, Apple ‘s CEO Cook said education doesn’t equal ability so the requirement of the employees doesn’t include an undergraduate degree.
Also
, Google and Netflix will follow
this
policy.
Furthermore
,thanks to the internet there are many KOLs who don’t go to university, just doing well in the field they are interested. In conclusion, I consider
while
it’s undeniable that going to college is a ticket to success, it's not the only way. There are many methods to achieve one’s goal
as a result
of the rapidly advanced technology.
Submitted by vivian901014 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay addresses the topic, but the response is somewhat limited. Ensure that both views are discussed equally and in detail. Your own opinion is clear, but it should be further developed with specific examples and fully expanded points.
coherence cohesion
The essay shows some organization, but the logical sequence is not consistently clear. Use a range of cohesive devices to clarify the relationships between ideas and paragraphs. Transition words should guide the reader through the argument in a smoother manner.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • university degree
  • specialized knowledge
  • critical thinking skills
  • networking opportunities
  • vocational training
  • self-made entrepreneurs
  • gig economy
  • online courses
  • certifications
  • formal education
  • practical experience
  • lifelong learning
  • career goals
  • individual circumstances
  • academic qualifications
What to do next:
Look at other essays: