Despite a large number of gyms, a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popularity in the contemporary world. What problems are associated with this? What solutions can you suggest?

#gyms #lifestyle #popularity #world

These days a deskbound

lifestyle

is becoming more and more popular despite a large number of sports facilities.

This

essay will discuss the main concerns associated with

this

epidemic and propose some possible solutions to avoid them. The main

problems

caused by an inactive

lifestyle

are obesity and various spine disorders. A growing number of body research shows that long periods of physical inactivity raise the risk of becoming overweight. The reason for

such

result

Correct article usage

a result

show examples

is that

people

burn fewer calories and easily gain weight.

addition

Add a comma

addition,

show examples

there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

evidence through a lot of studies

show

Wrong verb form

showing

show examples

that

so-called

Correct article usage

the so-called

show examples

‘sitting disease’ often results in posture and backbone

problems

Due to

constant sitting, a person loses muscle tissue and curves the spine, developing numerous spinal diseases.

For example

, it has been proven that about 80% of

people

experience backache at least once a week. A possible solution to these

problems

is promoting an active

lifestyle

Firstly

, millions of

people

stay less active because they use cars

instead

of walking.

Therefore

, an effective way to make

people

more active is to advertise walking and cycling as safe and attractive alternatives to motorized transport.

Moreover

, an inactive

lifestyle

is gaining popularity because nowadays a lot of

people

prefer passive rest to workouts in the gym. The best way to avoid the hazards of unhealthy living is to obtain a regular dose of physical activity.

Thus

, promoting gyms and regular exercise would increase the level of activity. In conclusion, leading a sedentary

lifestyle

causes a lot of health

problems

, including obesity and spinal diseases. The most effective solution is to increase the level of fitness in society by advertising physical activity.

Submitted by ionyourenglish on Wed Nov 29 2023

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task achievement

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and is expanded with adequate support and examples.

task achievement

Try to develop arguments further with more specific examples to enhance clarity and provide a more comprehensive response to the task.

coherence cohesion

Work on linking ideas more cohesively by using a wider range of cohesive devices and transition phrases.

coherence cohesion

Remember to review essay structure to ensure a clear logical progression from introduction to conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary lifestyle
physical inactivity
health problems
weight gain
obesity
energy levels
chronic illnesses
mental health
productivity
focus
social isolation
exercise
physical fitness
active lifestyle
health benefits
physical health
mental well-being
leisure activities
regular physical activity
physical exercise
cardiovascular health
strength training
flexibility
endurance

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Despite a large number of gyms, a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popularity in the contemporary world. What problems are associated with this? What solutions can you suggest?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Tourism has increased so much over the last 50 years that it is having a mainly negative impact on local inhabitants and the environment. However, others claim that it is good for the economy. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of tourism and give your own opinion.

Many people like to wear fashionable clothes. Why do you think this is the case? Is this a positive thing or a negative thing?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that the Olympics Games do not have a role in the 21st Century. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some parents think computer games are better for children and they should be allowed to play more of them. Whereas some parents argue that they are harmful to children, both your point of views and your opinion.