Some people believe that nations and individuals should focus on their own problems because it is impossible to help everyone in the world since there are so many needs. To what extents do you agree or disagree.

#people #nations #individuals #focus #world #extents

In recent years, there have been numerous

people

who argued that they must focus on themselves than help other lives. As

such

there are agreements and disagreements to

this

trend,

although

I opine that its disagreements outweigh the agreement. In my opinion, I completely disagree because as human beings,

people

must help each other. In

this

essay, I will examine all the relevant arguments based on factual experiences. There are several opinions to

this

trend. The most prominent one is that if

people

help each other, all the weight of problems will be decreased.

Moreover

, as human beings, we must always help each other even though it looks impossible. There are numerous problems in

this

world

;

however

, if

people

lend their hand to each other, they already contribute kindness to

this

world

In addition

, if we were supporting the other

people

that needed, the other

people

would

also

give their hand when we have a problem.

Therefore

, helping other

people

can help to reduce problems in

this

world

In addition

, helping other

people

does not mean that we cannot focus on ourselves.

However

, sometimes if we were helped the other

people

, we would gain knowledge that might be helpful to our problem in the future.

For example

, helping others to sell their products helps us to know about business and might be helpful if we want to open a business in the future.

Furthermore

, being kind to others can build empathy. In conclusion, being kind and helping other

people

does not mean that we lose focus on ourselves.

However

, by helping each other we can be more open-minded and knowledgeable about

world

conditions.

Submitted by gladysdharmawan1994 on Fri Dec 01 2023

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task achievement

To improve task achievement, ensure that the prompt is fully addressed with clear and direct responses. Both sides of the argument need to be represented when the question asks to what extent you agree or disagree.

task achievement

Develop your ideas more comprehensively and include clear, relevant examples to support each main point. Avoid general statements and strive for specificity to strengthen the argument.

coherence cohesion

Your essay's structure benefits from a clear introduction and conclusion. This indicates a good understanding of coherence and cohesion but aim for smoother transitions and better connections between ideas throughout the essay.

coherence cohesion

Each paragraph should have one clear main idea, supported by specific examples and explanations. Ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the previous one to maintain clear and consistent argumentation.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

273 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that nations and individuals should focus on their own problems because it is impossible to help everyone in the world since there are so many needs. To what extents do you agree or disagree.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Death penalty is still practiced in jurisdiction system of many countries. Some people believe that this type of punishment should be abolished. However, others are of opposite opinion. Discuss both sides of this debate and give your own opinion.

In many countries, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

How should we ensure that the tv is a positive influence in the life of children?

Fast food is becoming one part of life everywhere, to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business. Why do you think that is? What could be done to encourage more people to take interest in the arts?