During the last century, the phenomenal popularity of cars has meant that the world’s environment is now at risk. Some scientists, for example, claim that motor vehicles have been responsible for the temperature of the world rising by several degrees during the last few decades. What motivate people to buy cars and what can we do to stop people from buying them?

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The

car

Use synonyms

has been one of the favourite means of transportation for commuting

people

Use synonyms

from place to place during the

last

Linking Words

century. Some experts argue that the effects of using the

car

Use synonyms

have caused the world temperature to rise by several degrees in recent years.

Therefore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

essay outlines the reasons why

people

Use synonyms

still choose to buy

cars

Use synonyms

and provides possible solutions to stop

people

Use synonyms

from purchasing them.

To begin

Linking Words

, the most obvious motivation

people

Use synonyms

choose to purchase

cars

Use synonyms

is their convenience. To be specific,

cars

Use synonyms

are far more convenient than public

transport

Use synonyms

when travelling outside the city.

For instance

Linking Words

, to travel to some remote areas, driving a

car

Use synonyms

would be faster than a train and it is

also

Linking Words

straightforward to access some local areas if drivers want to make a stop.

In addition

Linking Words

, a

car

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

makes it easier for parents to travel with young children.

This

Linking Words

is because

cars

Use synonyms

remove the worry and hassle of walking with children to public

transport

Use synonyms

or changing between different modes of

transport

Use synonyms

Nonetheless

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

buying a

car

Use synonyms

ensures

people

Use synonyms

’s convenience, the effects of global warming or climate

changes

Fix the agreement mistake

change

show examples

due to

Linking Words

car

Use synonyms

usage are foreseen.

Thus

Linking Words

, to encourage

people

Use synonyms

to stop purchasing a

car

Use synonyms

, expanding more reliable public

transport

Use synonyms

would be plausible.

This

Linking Words

means that the destination is far more accessible.

For example

Linking Words

, the train and bus network system in Japan is

well expanded

Add a hyphen

well-expanded

show examples

throughout the city and the countryside.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, existing

transport

Use synonyms

systems could be made cheaper, more frequent, and more accessible. With these improvements,

people

Use synonyms

would be more inclined to use public

transport

Use synonyms

, rather than own a

car

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, it is true that

cars

Use synonyms

are popular because of their convenience. At the same time, in order to reduce the amount of

cars

Use synonyms

that may damage the environment, the government must pay attention to developing more reliable public

transport

Use synonyms

so that citizens can be encouraged to use alternative

transport

Use synonyms

that is

Linking Words

less

damage

Replace the word

damaging

show examples

to the environment.

Submitted by vithearin.chorn on Sun Dec 17 2023

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supported main points

The essay logically presents the case for the popularity of cars and provides some solutions for reducing their usage, but it could benefit from more specific and varied examples to support the main points.

logical structure

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that ideas are not repeated unnecessarily. Use linking words to show contrast, cause and effect, or to add information, and ensure that different points are connected in a logical manner.

introduction conclusion present

Your essay introduction and conclusion are present and relevant to the task. However, consider improving the strength of your thesis statement in your introduction and making a more definitive statement in your conclusion for higher impact.

clear comprehensive ideas

You have addressed the task in a relevant way and developed your response to cover the main points of the question. To further enhance your task achievement score, elaborate more on the solutions by giving more detailed examples and analyze their potential effectiveness.

complete response

Make sure that the response explicitly addresses all parts of the task. Both the reasons for car popularity and possible solutions need to be fully developed, with multiple perspectives included for a comprehensive treatment of the issue.

relevant specific examples

Incorporate a wider range of specific examples that can demonstrate your point more effectively. The examples should be clearly linked to the claims you make, and where possible, show a global perspective.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

325 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

motor vehicles
environmental impact
global warming
status symbol
personal achievement
consumer behavior
transport infrastructure
emissions
mass transit
urban planning
carpooling
public awareness
incentives and disincentives
sustainable alternatives
carbon footprint

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