Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some
people
believe
that is
good to share as much
information
as possible in scientific research,
business
and
academic
Correct article usage
the academic
show examples
world. Others believe that some
information
is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own
opinion
. It is argued that some individuals believe
that is
important to share all
information
as much as possible in scientific research,
business
and
academic
Correct article usage
the academic
show examples
world. Others think that some private
information
that is
secret and vital to be shared freely. In
this
essay, I will discuss both statements and give my own
opinion
.
To begin
with, there is the belief that we have
many
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
information
about education and
business
that
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
essential for
people
to know for free, and
also
,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the internet we have important
information
that easily
achieve
Wrong verb form
be achieved
show examples
with a simple search, what is more, all the
information
are free and they make money from advertisement not from the
information
.
Furthermore
, for students who are studying and working on their article is vital to have
access
to
this
information
for free because they do not make any money from studying so they do not have
pay
Fix the infinitive
to pay
show examples
for
information
or for
business
people
who are starting their own
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
it is essential that collect some
information
about their businesses.
However
, some
people
believe that important
information
should have been accessible with payment, and secret
information
if they leaked
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
would ruin all businesses, and
also
, if someone
need
Wrong verb form
needed
show examples
this
essential
information
they would pay for it. Not only vital
information
should not be accessible but
also
they should set prices based on their value.
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
for student and academic purposes, universities should pay for
information
and for
business
,
business
people
should pay money to
access
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
essential
information
. In my
opinion
, all the
information
should have been free because as a student I have to learn new technology and new
information
and
also
as a developer, I think It is important to have
access
to
information
for free because I work for a company and I add features
this
world and
also
I shared all my code on GitHub to everyone can use it for their work as a student I share my article to be seen in public newspaper and magazine . In conclusion, I examine both
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
show examples
, on the one
hand
Add the comma(s)
hand,
show examples
some
people
say that
information
should be free,
on the other hand
some
people
say that
information
that they are important and secret should not be free, personly, I
gave
Correct your spelling
have
show examples
my
opinion
and all
information
should be easy to
access
and priceless.
Submitted by MinaDadashi1376 on

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task response
Task Response: The response addresses the prompt, but the ideas are not fully developed and lack detail. The writer should ensure the essay directly answers the question posed, thoroughly discusses both sides, and provides a clear, personal stance backed up with concrete examples and reasons.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The response demonstrates issues in logical structuring and progression of ideas. Paragraphs should have clear topic sentences, and ideas should be presented in a logical sequence. Coherence could be improved by using a range of cohesive devices appropriately and ensuring paragraphs flow smoothly from one to the next.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
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