IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You were invited to go out by your friend. Due to some reason you couldn’t go. Write a letter apologizing for this and suggest a new time and place to meet. In your letter, you should: apologize explain reasons on why you can’t make it suggest a new time and place to meet.

#friend #reason #couldn’t #time #place #can’t
Dear Priya, How did the party go? I can clearly feel how angry you would be with me for not showing up at your celebration party at the newly opened restaurant. First of all, let me say that no one would be happier than me on your grand success of passing
this
 exam. Though I made all the arrangements, but the time I was about to step out, my grandmother fell sick and we ended up taking her to the hospital and I couldn't leave my mother alone there afterwards. The hour after everything came to normal, it was too late to leave and I gave up on going. Grandma is well now and at home. But I am really sorry for not joining the occasion. Let's plan
this
 weekend to the same place. I know you've had nothing to do since you're on a break. Write back with the best meals from the restaurant you love. I'm salivating already to taste them. Love, Rajni
Submitted by asr.rajni2001 on

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structure
The letter could benefit from more clearly demarcated paragraphs to enhance readability. Each paragraph should introduce a single clear idea, followed by an explanation or an example.
task response
Ensure all parts of the task are attended to equally. The apology is clear, but the explanation could be expanded upon for a more detailed response.
coherence
Utilize a range of cohesive devices to ensure the logical flow of ideas throughout the letter. Use transitioning phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs smoothly.
tone
Adopt a consistent and suitable writing tone throughout the letter. The tone is largely appropriate; however, a more formal aperture in the beginning might enhance the cohesion with the closing.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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