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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some parents believe that learning maths at school is redundant and should not be taught. while others believe that it should remain a foundation subject. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#parents #maths #school #foundation
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The given views above talk about whether learning mathematics at school is redundant, should not be taught and should remain a foundation
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 for kids. In my opinion, maths is a very useful
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 that can improve the cognitive function of children.
Thus
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, why there are many elementary and secondary schools that still teach
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 to their students. I stand for my opinion for the first cause, we as adults really know what we are facing in day-to-day life. Calculation is
such
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 an important thing to master. Whether in workplaces, markets, public places, or even in society, we often use numbers in numerous ways. Children have to master the number functions, at least for the basic things
such
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 as addition, subtraction, multiple, and division for their brighter future.
For example
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, a child with better cognitive function which is often reflected in their numerical abilities has a more successful future than other kids who can not do maths. The second cause is the ability to use numbers since school can be very advantageous when the person is reaching their adult age. Another example
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apply
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 is when someone calculates a discount on a shoe price tag at a department store
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, he/she who has high numerical skills can easily know the net amount of the shoes when the discount shows 60%.
This
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 skill will
elevate
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make
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 their daily life to become easier.
To sum up
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, my opinion stands out that children who learn maths are not redundant and still must remain a foundation
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 to teach from an early age.
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 because numerical abilities bring many advantages in someone's life, in the future years.
Submitted by aghnia.ulhaq on

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coherence cohesion
To improve your logical structure, ensure that your essay has a clear progression from introduction to conclusion. Each paragraph should introduce a unique main point and should be linked seamlessly with the use of appropriate linking words.
coherence cohesion
Having an introduction and conclusion is essential. Your introduction should clearly set the stage for the discussion, whereas your conclusion should effectively summarize your main points and restate your position. While your essay includes these, they could be strengthened for clarity and impact.
coherence cohesion
While your main points are supported, the support could be more developed. Include more detailed explanations or a greater variety of examples to more convincingly back up your argument.
task achievement
Your essay meets the task by discussing both views and providing an opinion. To achieve a higher score, ensure that your response fully addresses all parts of the prompt. Expand on opposing viewpoints and provide a more in-depth exploration of these perspectives before presenting your own opinion.
task achievement
Ensure that the ideas in your essay are expressed clearly and comprehensively. Work on deepening your analysis and explanation of each point to fully explore its relevance to the essay question.
task achievement
Providing specific examples is crucial for a high task achievement score. Your essay contains examples, but these could be more specific and detailed to strongly illustrate your points. Aim for more relevancy and depth in your examples to enhance their effectiveness.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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