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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some parents believe that learning maths at school is redundant and should not be taught. while others believe that it should remain a foundation subject. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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The given views above talk about whether learning mathematics at school is redundant, should not be taught and should remain a foundation
subject
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 for kids. In my opinion, maths is a very useful
subject
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 that can improve the cognitive function of children.
Thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, why there are many elementary and secondary schools that still teach
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.
subject
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 to their students. I stand for my opinion for the first cause, we as adults really know what we are facing in day-to-day life. Calculation is
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 an important thing to master. Whether in workplaces, markets, public places, or even in society, we often use numbers in numerous ways. Children have to master the number functions, at least for the basic things
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as addition, subtraction, multiple, and division for their brighter future.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a child with better cognitive function which is often reflected in their numerical abilities has a more successful future than other kids who can not do maths. The second cause is the ability to use numbers since school can be very advantageous when the person is reaching their adult age. Another example
,
Remove the comma
apply

The comma may be separating the subject and verb in your sentence. Consider removing it.

show examples
 is when someone calculates a discount on a shoe price tag at a department store
for instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, he/she who has high numerical skills can easily know the net amount of the shoes when the discount shows 60%.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 skill will
elevate
Verb problem
make

There may be a verb use issue here.

show examples
 their daily life to become easier.
To sum up
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, my opinion stands out that children who learn maths are not redundant and still must remain a foundation
subject
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 to teach from an early age.
That is
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 because numerical abilities bring many advantages in someone's life, in the future years.

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coherence cohesion
To improve your logical structure, ensure that your essay has a clear progression from introduction to conclusion. Each paragraph should introduce a unique main point and should be linked seamlessly with the use of appropriate linking words.
coherence cohesion
Having an introduction and conclusion is essential. Your introduction should clearly set the stage for the discussion, whereas your conclusion should effectively summarize your main points and restate your position. While your essay includes these, they could be strengthened for clarity and impact.
coherence cohesion
While your main points are supported, the support could be more developed. Include more detailed explanations or a greater variety of examples to more convincingly back up your argument.
task achievement
Your essay meets the task by discussing both views and providing an opinion. To achieve a higher score, ensure that your response fully addresses all parts of the prompt. Expand on opposing viewpoints and provide a more in-depth exploration of these perspectives before presenting your own opinion.
task achievement
Ensure that the ideas in your essay are expressed clearly and comprehensively. Work on deepening your analysis and explanation of each point to fully explore its relevance to the essay question.
task achievement
Providing specific examples is crucial for a high task achievement score. Your essay contains examples, but these could be more specific and detailed to strongly illustrate your points. Aim for more relevancy and depth in your examples to enhance their effectiveness.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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