In some cultures, children’s are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
In some cultures,
children
are often told that they can achieve anything through their hard work
. The benefits of this
are children
become determined to achieve anything through their hard work
, and it increases their confidence
. The drawbacks of this
are children
lose their hope
if they fail to achieve something through hard work
, and it affects their mental strength
.
One of the benefits of telling children
anything can be achieved through hard work
is they become determined. If children
know they can achieve anything through hard work
, they become determined to achieve that. Moreover
, encouraging children
to achieve something by their hard work
increases their confidence
. They do not consider whether the task is easy or hard. They overcome it through their confidence
. For example
, in China, children
are taught by their teachers that they can achieve big goals through their hard work
. This
increases the confidence
of children
,
and helps them to achieve any success.
One of the drawbacks of teaching Remove the comma
apply
children
anything can be achieved by hard work
is it loses their hope
. If children
fail to achieve something through their hard work
, it will affect their hope
. As a result
, they will not be encouraged to encounter big challenges in the future. Furthermore
, telling children
anything can be achieved through hard work
affects their mental strength
. If they fail to achieve something despite working hard, they will become mentally weak, and cannot dream big in the future. For example
, children
in India once were taught that they can
win the National Championship of Badminton through their hard Wrong verb form
could
work
. Many children
achieved that, and who
did not succeed, lost their mental Correct pronoun usage
those who
strength
.
In conclusion, the advantages of telling children
they can achieve something through their hard work
are increasing their confidence
, and making them determined to achieve something. The drawbacks are children
lose their hope
and mental strength
.Submitted by rahman_rehana on
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider using more varied cohesive devices and transitioning phrases to ensure smooth flow between sentences and paragraphs. For example, phrases like 'on one hand', 'on the other hand', and 'in addition' can enhance structure.
task achievement
Make sure examples used are realistically connected to the ideas presented, providing clear links throughout. This can be done by briefly explaining how examples specifically illustrate the point being discussed.
task achievement
The essay provides a strong response to the task by discussing both advantages and disadvantages clearly.
coherence cohesion
Well-structured introduction and conclusion are present, summarizing the key points effectively.
task achievement
The essay includes some specific examples that add depth to the discussion, though further elaboration could be beneficial.
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