In some cultures, children’s are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

#cultures #children’s #children #message

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In some cultures,

children

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are often told that they can achieve anything through their hard

work

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. The benefits of

this

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are

children

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become determined to achieve anything through their hard

work

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, and it increases their

confidence

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. The drawbacks of

this

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are

children

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lose their

hope

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if they fail to achieve something through hard

work

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, and it affects their mental

strength

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. One of the benefits of telling

children

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anything can be achieved through hard

work

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is they become determined. If

children

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know they can achieve anything through hard

work

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, they become determined to achieve that.

Moreover

Linking Words

, encouraging

children

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to achieve something by their hard

work

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increases their

confidence

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. They do not consider whether the task is easy or hard. They overcome it through their

confidence

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For example

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, in China,

children

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are taught by their teachers that they can achieve big goals through their hard

work

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This

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increases the

confidence

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children

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Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and helps them to achieve any success. One of the drawbacks of teaching

children

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anything can be achieved by hard

work

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is it loses their

hope

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. If

children

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fail to achieve something through their hard

work

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, it will affect their

hope

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As a result

Linking Words

, they will not be encouraged to encounter big challenges in the future.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, telling

children

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anything can be achieved through hard

work

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affects their mental

strength

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. If they fail to achieve something despite working hard, they will become mentally weak, and cannot dream big in the future.

For example

Linking Words

children

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in India once were taught that they

can

Wrong verb form

could

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win the National Championship of Badminton through their hard

work

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. Many

children

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achieved that, and

who

Correct pronoun usage

those who

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did not succeed, lost their mental

strength

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. In conclusion, the advantages of telling

children

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they can achieve something through their hard

work

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are increasing their

confidence

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, and making them determined to achieve something. The drawbacks are

children

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lose their

hope

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and mental

strength

Use synonyms

Submitted by rahman_rehana on Tue Nov 12 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, consider using more varied cohesive devices and transitioning phrases to ensure smooth flow between sentences and paragraphs. For example, phrases like 'on one hand', 'on the other hand', and 'in addition' can enhance structure.

task achievement

Make sure examples used are realistically connected to the ideas presented, providing clear links throughout. This can be done by briefly explaining how examples specifically illustrate the point being discussed.

task achievement

The essay provides a strong response to the task by discussing both advantages and disadvantages clearly.

coherence cohesion

Well-structured introduction and conclusion are present, summarizing the key points effectively.

task achievement

The essay includes some specific examples that add depth to the discussion, though further elaboration could be beneficial.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

311 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Motivation
Ambition
Persevere
Setbacks
Self-confidence
Growth mindset
Dedication
Effort
Unrealistic expectations
Feelings of failure
Neglect
Personal well-being
Burnout
Fixed mindset
Discouragement
Lose motivation

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In some cultures, children’s are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Your opinion

Car owership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are n ow "one big traffic jam'

Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but there is no agreement about whether it is the government’s responsibility. What is your opinion?

All children should be given a free laptop when they start high school. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful Discuss both views and give your opinion.