In some cultures, children’s are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

In some cultures,
children
are often told that they can achieve anything through their hard
work
. The benefits of
this
are
children
become determined to achieve anything through their hard
work
, and it increases their
confidence
. The drawbacks of
this
are
children
lose their
hope
if they fail to achieve something through hard
work
, and it affects their mental
strength
. One of the benefits of telling
children
anything can be achieved through hard
work
is they become determined. If
children
know they can achieve anything through hard
work
, they become determined to achieve that.
Moreover
, encouraging
children
to achieve something by their hard
work
increases their
confidence
. They do not consider whether the task is easy or hard. They overcome it through their
confidence
.
For example
, in China,
children
are taught by their teachers that they can achieve big goals through their hard
work
.
This
increases the
confidence
of
children
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and helps them to achieve any success. One of the drawbacks of teaching
children
anything can be achieved by hard
work
is it loses their
hope
. If
children
fail to achieve something through their hard
work
, it will affect their
hope
.
As a result
, they will not be encouraged to encounter big challenges in the future.
Furthermore
, telling
children
anything can be achieved through hard
work
affects their mental
strength
. If they fail to achieve something despite working hard, they will become mentally weak, and cannot dream big in the future.
For example
,
children
in India once were taught that they
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
win the National Championship of Badminton through their hard
work
. Many
children
achieved that, and
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
did not succeed, lost their mental
strength
. In conclusion, the advantages of telling
children
they can achieve something through their hard
work
are increasing their
confidence
, and making them determined to achieve something. The drawbacks are
children
lose their
hope
and mental
strength
.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider using more varied cohesive devices and transitioning phrases to ensure smooth flow between sentences and paragraphs. For example, phrases like 'on one hand', 'on the other hand', and 'in addition' can enhance structure.
task achievement
Make sure examples used are realistically connected to the ideas presented, providing clear links throughout. This can be done by briefly explaining how examples specifically illustrate the point being discussed.
task achievement
The essay provides a strong response to the task by discussing both advantages and disadvantages clearly.
coherence cohesion
Well-structured introduction and conclusion are present, summarizing the key points effectively.
task achievement
The essay includes some specific examples that add depth to the discussion, though further elaboration could be beneficial.

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Motivation
  • Ambition
  • Persevere
  • Setbacks
  • Self-confidence
  • Growth mindset
  • Dedication
  • Effort
  • Unrealistic expectations
  • Feelings of failure
  • Neglect
  • Personal well-being
  • Burnout
  • Fixed mindset
  • Discouragement
  • Lose motivation
What to do next:
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