IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case. Do you think this is a positive or negative situation.

#countries #home #people #be #case #situation
Having a home
instead
 of renting one is considered essential for some individuals in certain countries. In my opinion, the primary cause of
this
 is based on the price of the place. I am concerned;
this
 is a positive trend
due to
 the reasons that will be discussed below. One of the main reasons is that the price of a property these days is extremely high compared to buying a house.
Moreover
, the
people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 can afford it are only from the middle and upper classes, which means it is not something someone in the lower class can handle.
For instance
, after the pandemic COVID-19, the price of rent in Australia increased to over 600 dollars per week, and
for
this
 reason, the number of homeless
people
 is rising.
Furthermore
, being a homeowner is the best way to save more money, which can be passed on to their family members. I believe that
this
 is a positive trend, especially since owning a home can improve your financial status and sense of permanence. It allows
people
 to put down roots in a community and become more invested in their surroundings.
Thus
,
people
 should invest in a residence to perceive a payback in the future.
For example
, real estate tends to appreciate in value. During the housing market boom, homeowners can partially make a profit if they sell their
To sum up
, the main reason why purchasing a house is important for individuals in some countries is that the cost of rent is high, as long as it is a good investment.
Submitted by mynonames on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that you address all parts of the task. While you have provided some reasons, more detailed explanations of why home ownership is important and an in-depth look at whether it is positive or negative could strengthen your argument.
task achievement
To expand your ideas, offer more specific examples that encompass a variety of scenarios and perspectives. This could involve statistics, citing sources, or providing hypothetical situations that further illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a recognizable structure with an introduction and conclusion. However, make sure that the introduction clearly outlines the topics to be discussed, and that the conclusion summarises your points effectively without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
To enhance the development of your main points, include more detailed examination and explanation. This involves expanding on your reasons, providing further evidence, and analyzing the implications of your assertions.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
What to do next:
Look at other essays: