IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other type of progress are equally important for a country Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There is no denying the fact that economic growth is considered the cornerstone of a nation’s success by many governments, as it increases wealth, creates job opportunities, and improves infrastructure.
However
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, others argue that social, environmental, and cultural progress are equally vital for any country in the long term.
This
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 essay will discuss the points of view from two perspectives, and
then
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 I will express my own opinion. 
Furthermore
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, it provides more employment opportunities, raises income levels, and reduces poverty.
For example
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, countries
such
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 as Singapore and South Korea transformed from developing countries to highly developed nations
due to
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 rapid economic advancement, which has enhanced the quality of life of their citizens.
Also
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, the strong economy enhances the country’s global influence and increases its ability to be resilient in times of crisis.
On the other hand
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, focusing solely on economic indicators can overlook other essential aspects of development. To extend, social progress
such
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 as reducing inequality, ensuring access to education, and improving public health play a crucial role in building a cohesive and stable society.
In addition
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, environmental sustainability is equally important; without protecting the natural resources and reducing pollution, economic advance could come at the expense of the next generation.
For instance
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, the industrial expansion in some countries has led to severe air and water pollution, negatively impacting citizens’ health. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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 question. On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that,
while
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 economic progress is a key foundation for any nation’s advancement, it should not be the sole priority. The balanced approach, which combines economic growth with preserving the environment, protecting the natural resources, and saving the culture, is essential. So, the economic prosperity loses its meaning if individuals live in poor health, have no access to education, or see their environment destroyed.

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grammar
Fix small grammar mistakes and choose simple, clear words so the meaning is easy to follow.
coherence
Use clear link words to connect ideas, like 'also', 'but', 'however', and 'for example'.
structure
Make a short plan: state your view in one line, give two or three reasons, and end with a clear conclusion.
content
Give a clear example and show how it supports your point.
content
The essay talks about both sides and gives a personal view.
content
It uses examples from real countries to back points.
structure
A thesis and a conclusion are present.
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