Q. Air pollution is currently a big issue in most industrialized cities causing respiratory problems and changes in weather patterns. What do you think are the causes of this? What measures can be taken to reduce air pollution?
It is observed that
air
pollution
is currently a major issue in most industialized
cities causing respiratory problems like asthma and lung cancer, Correct your spelling
industrialized
industrialised
moreover
it disturbs the climate patterns Add a comma
moreover,
like
sometimes more cooler and warmer than normal.
Change preposition
apply
Air
pollution
is specifically causes
Change the verb form
is specifically caused
is specifically causing
,
When chemical gases Remove the comma
apply
uses
in the industries Wrong verb form
used
excreted
in the Add a missing verb
are excreted
air
. Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
air
involves the hazard
components.
When individuals in Replace the word
hazardous
the
specific polluted Correct article usage
a
area
takes
breath their lungs Change the verb form
take
got
Wrong verb form
get
effected
, and with the passage of Correct your spelling
affected
time
it causes lungs Add a comma
time,
desease
and Correct your spelling
disease
then
death. According to
a survey of WHO (world health organization
) stated that globally, Correct your spelling
World Health Organization
air
pollution
is responsible for about 7 million premature deaths per year from lung cancer.
The most suitable solution for this
problem is to build factories far from the populated area
and manage the release of gases in an acceptable way. Fix the agreement mistake
areas
Consequently
, the weather will not be polluted and the public will take breath
in the fresh Add an article
a breath
air
. Moreover
government should start an expedition to Add a comma
Moreover,
plan
trees and make their environment green, so they can keep their atmosphere out of Correct your spelling
plant
pollution
.
In conclusion, Air
pollution
is caused by industries in the public area
and affect
human life. It can be solved by building industries outside of the main city Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
area
.Submitted by jhonyxxx579 on
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task achievement
The essay partially addresses the task. While it touches upon causes and measures, it lacks detail and development of ideas. Consider expanding on each point with more examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, but the flow of ideas can be improved. Use a range of cohesive devices and topic sentences to guide the reader through your argument more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be stronger. Make your thesis statement more explicit in the introduction and summarize your main points more effectively in the conclusion.
task achievement
Support your main points with specific, relevant examples. Quantitative data, case studies, or comparisons can enhance the quality of your arguments and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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