Q. Air pollution is currently a big issue in most industrialized cities causing respiratory problems and changes in weather patterns. What do you think are the causes of this? What measures can be taken to reduce air pollution?

It is observed that
air
pollution
is currently a major issue in most
industialized
Correct your spelling
industrialized
industrialised
cities causing respiratory problems like asthma and lung cancer,
moreover
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moreover,
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it disturbs the climate patterns
like
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apply
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sometimes more cooler and warmer than normal.
Air
pollution
is specifically causes
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is specifically caused
is specifically causing
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,
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apply
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When chemical gases
uses
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used
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in the industries
excreted
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are excreted
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in the
air
.
Meanwhile
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Meanwhile,
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air
involves the
hazard
Replace the word
hazardous
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components. When individuals in
the
Correct article usage
a
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specific polluted
area
takes
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take
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breath their lungs
got
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get
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effected
Correct your spelling
affected
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, and with the passage of
time
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time,
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it causes lungs
desease
Correct your spelling
disease
and
then
death.
According to
a survey of WHO (
world health organization
Correct your spelling
World Health Organization
show examples
) stated that globally,
air
pollution
is responsible for about 7 million premature deaths per year from lung cancer. The most suitable solution for
this
problem is to build factories far from the populated
area
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areas
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and manage the release of gases in an acceptable way.
Consequently
, the weather will not be polluted and the public will take
breath
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a breath
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in the fresh
air
.
Moreover
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Moreover,
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government should start an expedition to
plan
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plant
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trees and make their environment green, so they can keep their atmosphere out of
pollution
. In conclusion,
Air
pollution
is caused by industries in the public
area
and
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
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human life. It can be solved by building industries outside of the main city
area
.
Submitted by jhonyxxx579 on

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task achievement
The essay partially addresses the task. While it touches upon causes and measures, it lacks detail and development of ideas. Consider expanding on each point with more examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, but the flow of ideas can be improved. Use a range of cohesive devices and topic sentences to guide the reader through your argument more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be stronger. Make your thesis statement more explicit in the introduction and summarize your main points more effectively in the conclusion.
task achievement
Support your main points with specific, relevant examples. Quantitative data, case studies, or comparisons can enhance the quality of your arguments and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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