IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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It is considered that advertising makes us purchase things
while
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 others believe that
commercials
Use synonyms
 have become something common and people do not pay attention to them.
This
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 essay will discuss both sides of the argument in detail,
along with
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 presenting my opinion. On the one hand, society is very addicted to advertising, there are some reasons why it is true. First of all, many individuals watch TV a lot and when the same
commercials
Use synonyms
 are shown every time subconsciously people think that it what they are need.
Then
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 men and women start buying items.
Furthermore
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, the most effect on communities is celebrities. Most of the celebrities have large followings and
therefore
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, they might create big influence by promoting anything.
For instance
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, Cristiano Ronaldo, a famous football player, signed a deal with Nike company and
as a result
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, company revenue rose exceptionally.
On the other hand
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, in the modern world, advertisements can be found everywhere.
This
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 is because technology has developed incredibly and
as a result
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, it has become too easy for firms to promote their product.
For example
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, on every website, there are at least 4 or 5
commercials
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. What’s more not only on websites make advertisements. There are so many promotions in the streets which people see every day. Thousands of residents walk next to them, but they are so tired and used to them,
as a consequence
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, they don't even bother to look at the product.
To conclude
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, I believe that advertising is not successful because it has become too common and individuals do not pay attention to it. Based on statistics, the efficiency of
commercials
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 has decreased during the
last
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 few years. That's why I can say that society is not bothered by promotions and companies have to find another way to sell their products.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure by using paragraphing effectively to separate your introduction, body, and conclusion. Use linking words to smoothly transition between ideas and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Include an introduction that clearly presents the topic and previews the main points of your discussion. Your conclusion should effectively summarize your argument and restate your opinion.
task achievement
Support your main points with clear, relevant examples. Make sure these examples are detailed and specific to convincingly illustrate your arguments.
task achievement
Make sure to address the task by discussing both views presented in the prompt and providing your own opinion throughout the essay, rather than only in the conclusion. Develop your ideas comprehensively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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