IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that schoolchildren should do their classwork individually. Other people believe that sometimes class work should be done in small groups. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is believed that schoolchildren should do their classwork by themselves;
however
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, some people think it is better for
students
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 to do their classwork in small
groups
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. From my perspective, I think
students
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 should do all the
work
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 in classes in
groups
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. Doing classwork individually can help the tutor find out the unique talents and interests of each child.
For example
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, when a student is good at mathematics but lags a bit in science,
teacher
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the teacher
a teacher
show examples
 can find a way to help him do well in science too.
Moreover
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,
this
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 process helps schoolchildren
more
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be more
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 responsible as they have to do all the
work
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 alone and take responsibility for their
work
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.
However
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,
this
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 kind of teaching might not allow
students
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 to interact with other classmates, which will decline their communication and teamwork
skills
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.
On the other hand
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, doing the
work
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 in a group will improve their communication skill, which is essential in the modern era, as they have to discuss with other members
in
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of
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 their squads.
In addition
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, becoming a leader in
groups
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 can help the
students
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 develop many important
skills
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such
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 as decision-making
skills
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,
leadership
Correct word choice
and leadership
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skills
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, and these
skills
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 may become necessary for their future.
For instance
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, I have an
introvert
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introverted
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 friend,
he
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 did not want to talk with any people surrounding him, but when he was in secondary school, he had to do lots of group projects, which made him become a different person.
To conclude
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. Both these approaches have benefits and drawbacks. But I believe that working in
groups
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 is much better for children to totally develop for their future.

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Style
To further improve your essay, consider varying your sentence structure to add complexity and depth to your argument. While your sentences are clear, diverse sentence types can enhance readability and engagement.
Coherence
To enhance coherence, transition words or phrases could be used more effectively to guide the reader through your argument. This would not only improve flow but also strengthen the connection between your ideas.
Task Achievement
Consider elaborating on specific examples to support your arguments. While you've provided general examples, more detailed scenarios or data would reinforce your claims and offer a stronger foundation for your viewpoint.
Task Achievement
Your essay effectively discusses both views and provides a clear personal opinion, which is a fundamental requirement of the task.
Coherence
You made a good attempt to structure your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs for each view, and a conclusion, which helps in achieving coherence and cohesion.
Examples
The use of examples, like the impact of group work on an introvert friend, is a strong strategy for illustrating your points.
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