In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think is it a positive or negative development?
Nowadays, the population in the countryside is dropping
due to
the increase of
migration to Change preposition
in
cities
. In my point of view, this
trend is negative because of the overpopulation problems in cities
and fewer population in the rural areas.
On the one hand, People
usually move to cities
in order to experience a better quality of life and seek a secure job so the rate of migration has gone up dramatically in recent years, which has some detrimental impacts on people
's both personal and professional lives thanks to overpopulation. Probably the main problem is the lack of enough accommodations or whether there are, they are not affordable. As a result
, numerous people
should deal with the hassle of residences. Also
, sometimes, these people
cannot find a
decent employment which Remove the article
apply
offer
them clear career paths, promotion prospects and job security. Change the verb form
offers
Thus
, they have to be employed in general occupations such
as waiters, food deliveries, taxi drivers and some others might not find even general jobs to meet their initial needs. Consequently
, they would end up with depression or suffer from job dissatisfaction.
On the other hand
, this
phenomenon can influence the countryside adversely. To begin
with, increasing in
Change preposition
apply
migrating
from Replace the word
migration
the
rural areas to Correct article usage
apply
cities
leads to poor
food supply in the country as fewer Add an article
the poor
people
involve
in agriculture and livestock breeding. Change the form of the verb
involved
Therefore
, the state should address it by using alternative ways to prevent this
phenomenon or encouraging folks to stay in rural areas. In addition
, if the number of families who live in the countryside declines , the government might not pay attention to them and meet their needs efficiently in terms of road infrastructure, public transportation, school construction and other amenities.
In conclusion, in my opinion, migrating to cities
can cause detrimental issues for not only migrators
but Replace the word
migrants
also
the governments.Submitted by kmibehnaz98 on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. It is essential that each paragraph has a central idea which is developed and not just stated.
Coherence & Cohesion
Aim for a logical organization of ideas. You should clearly outline your arguments in the introduction, develop them in separate paragraphs in the body of the essay, and refer back to them in the conclusion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and across sentences smoothly. However, avoid overusing them which may affect the natural flow of the text.
Task Achievement
Address all parts of the task. Make sure you discuss both why the migration from rural to urban areas can be seen as a negative development, and make it clear how this impacts both environments.
Task Achievement
Develop your ideas fully and extend your arguments. You can do this by including specific examples and reasons to support your points.
Task Achievement
Try to be clear and detailed in your examples. Provide specific scenarios, data, or hypothetical situations which illustrate your point more vividly.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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