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Writing Samples
Band 7

In many countries today, the eating habits and lifestyle of children are diffrent from those of previous generations. Some people say this has had a negative effect on their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#countries #habits #lifestyle #children #diffrent #generations #people #effect #health
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In contemporary society, the way
of
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eating habits have changed significantly compared to the past, and others indicate that it has some consequences on their body
as well as
 health. In my humble opinion, I totally concur with the given statement
due to
 several specific reasons all of which are to be explained in
this
 essay. The first and foremost reason why these have been changed and some negative effect on their body is
due to
 the fact that their lifestyle have changed
last
 few decades because the majority of countries enhanced, and with the release of fast food, people, now, would rather it as it has some advantages
such
 as cooking much more easier, time-consuming problem has been fixed, and saving some money.
For instance
,
according to
 the research conducted by the Department of Healthcare Service at Oxford University led by a famous professor Daniel James, it has been scientifically proven that more than half people of in The United States have fatting issues
due to
 overeating and obesity. Second of all, consuming fast food regularly has not only brought us some cons which might to lead death but
also
 will increase the mortality index which is climbing considerably by an unprecedented result over the years. One excellent example of
this
 is the Asian continent which leads the index compared to other regions. In some nations of Asia, healthy living is barely eliminated from society because of their desires,
on the other hand
, only a minority of them obey a proper diet to live longer and cosily. To put everything into consideration, eating habits are essential to individuals' lives and much more important than other factors that face in our lives.
Lastly
, We should lay more emphasis on what we eat and what we do to realize the value of life.
Submitted by Zolboo on

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task achievement
Although the essay addresses the topic, some points remain underdeveloped. It would be beneficial to expand on each argument with more detail and depth to fully address the question.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs is smooth. Using a variety of cohesive devices and paragraphing effectively can help with the overall coherence of the essay.
task achievement
Try to incorporate more specific and relevant examples that directly support your main points. It is crucial to use accurate data and references to strengthen your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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