It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct (e.g. Dinosaurs, dodos …) There is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree?

It is under discussion by several people that the reduction in animal species is a natural process.
However
, I believe that human plays a significant role in bringing a positive change in their life.
Therefore
, I am not in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
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of the above statement, and I will discuss my point of view in detail in my essay below.
To begin
with, a lot of developmental changes take place daily in different areas they are reducing the land for these
animals
and are destroying their natural habitat. Many people are removing trees that are the reason that most bird species are coming to an end. So, they did not get a specific place to live because of deforestation
hence
, moved to other areas, and
due to
weather differences they may not suffer and die. If individuals pay attention to their surroundings they can easily tackle
this
problem
by prioritising the natural beauty without damaging it.
For example
, in China they realized they the pandas
number
was going to deceased
hence
they started doing work on it and wanted to save them from deacreasing.
Moreover
,
this
problem
can be easily solved if the government takes strict action and applies rules and regulations for the citizens, that they are not allowed to cut the trees nor they can do hunting for their amusement.
Instead
, they can arrange other activities and set awareness programs in which they can tell the importance of these
animals
and nature and how necessary it is for us and the food chain. Strict obligations must be taken by the high authority so that the reduced
number
of
animals
can be balanced.
Thirdly
, the increase in industrialization and several buildings are
also
contributing factors to
such
conditions. They must be avoided to build large buildings in city centers and urban areas too because they are ruining the natural balance by constructing tall buildings. In conclusion,
although
it is a fact the
number
of
animals
is reducing in
number
day by day
this
problem
can be solved easily by paying attention to our environment and taking strict steps for the welfare of the community. When creatures are at the
cusps
Fix the agreement mistake
cusp
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of decreasing it's the responsibility of the individuals and government to look upon it and solve the
problem
smartly without harming any other sections and communities.
Submitted by aimenmalik2021 on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt with a clear opinion, which is good for task response. However, to improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and consistently develop it with more specific examples.
coherence cohesion
You attempted to use cohesive devices to organize your essay, which is a good start for coherence and cohesion. To enhance your score, use a wider range of linking words and clearly outline your paragraphs to improve the flow of information.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present but could be more impactful. Start with a hook to engage the reader in the introduction, and ensure the conclusion effectively summarizes your main points without introducing new information.
task achievement
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • species extinction
  • biodiversity
  • conservation
  • ecosystems
  • environmental ethics
  • habitat destruction
  • anthropogenic impact
  • ecological balance
  • natural selection
  • wildlife preservation
  • genetic diversity
  • endangered species
  • biological heritage
  • sustainable practices
  • Anthropocene
  • cascade effects
  • intrinsic value
  • habitat conservation
  • extinction crisis
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