IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The world is experiencing dramatic in population,which is causing problems not only for developing countries but also for developed nations Describe some of the problems that overpopulation causes and suggest at least one possible solution.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
show examples
 era, the world is experiencing
Correct article usage
a drametic
show examples
drametic
Correct your spelling
dramatic
 in population, which is causing problems not only for developing countries but
also
Linking Words
 for developing nations there are
an
Change the article
a
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of problems that we
would me discussing
Replace the word
will discuss in
show examples
 the forthcoming paragraphs.
Firstly
Linking Words
, one of the major
Use synonyms
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 of overpopulation is poverty,
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 leads to no education.
Lets
Replace the word
Let's
Let us
show examples
 take
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 example of one of the most populated
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the world, India. It has
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 population of 1.40 billion and among
them
Add a comma
them,
show examples
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 are almost 10% of
people
Use synonyms
 who face poverty. Because of
this
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 have no sex education
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 leads to overpopulation. Another major
problem
Use synonyms
 that
people
Use synonyms
 face is no
food
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 is because if
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 is an
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 the
damand
Correct your spelling
demand
 for
food
Use synonyms
 increases, and the country is not able to produce enough
food
Use synonyms
 that's the most common reason
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 malnutrition.
Secondly
Linking Words
, one of the huge
Use synonyms
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
show examples
 that
Canada
Use synonyms
 faces
due to
Linking Words
 overpopulation is no houses or jobs for
new comers
Correct your spelling
newcomers
show examples
. Some of the cities like Surrey, Toronto,
Brampton
Correct word choice
and Brampton
show examples
 are highly populated and they have no land to build more houses or offer jobs to new students.
This
Linking Words
 all problems result in
people
Use synonyms
 living on
streets
Correct article usage
the streets
show examples
,
doing
Verb problem
committing
show examples
 crimes to earn some money for their survival,
eating
Correct word choice
and eating
show examples
unhygenic
Correct your spelling
unhygienic
food
Use synonyms
 that affects their physical health. Many
people
Use synonyms
 move to
Canada
Use synonyms
 for
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 future, but
due to
Linking Words
 the
circumstances
Add a comma
circumstances,
show examples
 they can neither go back to India nor stay in
Canada
Use synonyms
. There are
an
Change the article
a
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of solutions to solve
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
the goverenment
show examples
goverenment
Correct your spelling
government
governments
 should make some rules regarding the
number
Use synonyms
 of
childerns
Correct your spelling
children
 that can
take
Verb problem
be
show examples
 birth in each family.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 should be free
sex-education
Correct your spelling
sex education
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 all, as many
people
Use synonyms
 still
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
 know how to control birth.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, unlike
Use synonyms
Canada
Add a comma
Canada,
show examples
 different countries should open new small areas where the
new comers
Correct your spelling
newcomers
show examples
 can go for
bright
Correct article usage
a bright
show examples
 future.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I would like to say each
an
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
 every thing has its
problem
Use synonyms
 and the solutions. It's on oneself to know about the facts and work on that. If the population keeps on increasing day by day, soon we will be out of our natural resources and will not
able
Add a missing verb
be able
show examples
 to live longer. To secure our futures, each individual should take some steps to solve
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Be sure to proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and ensure proper sentence structure. Consider revising sentences that may be confusing or unclear.
Coherence and Cohesion
Develop your main points with relevant examples and detailed explanations. Each paragraph should clearly address a single aspect of the issue.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. The introduction should set the context and the conclusion should summarize the main points without introducing new information.
Task Achievement
Address the task directly and make sure you answer all parts of the question. Stay on topic and provide a thorough response to each component of the prompt.
Task Achievement
Include specific examples to support your arguments. This helps to demonstrate your understanding of the issue and enhances the overall impact of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on structuring your paragraphs with clear topic sentences that introduce the main idea followed by supporting details and examples.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: