your child is going on a school trip abroad for three days and the headmaster of the school has asked anyparents if they would like to come along to assist.you would like to go . write a letter to the headmaster. say why you woud like to go? Suggest what you could do to help during the trip? ask some further questions about the trip?
Dear Mrs. Smith
This
is khashayar Partovi- Mary’s father. I am writing this
letter regarding a three-day school trip
to Paris
. I would really like to sign up for this
journey.
First,
I have an upcoming conference about cancer in Paris
which is very important at the time my daughter is in Paris
. So I decided to sign up for the upcoming trip
and be with my child throughout her journey.
As you already know, I am a physician therefore
I can teach students about hygienic behavior during their trip
. Moreover
, if students get infected I can examine and cure them easily. In addition
, this
trip
is my second journey to Paris
and I am almost familiar with the city I can guide the students if they want to visit historical places in Paris
.
Finally
, I want to ask you with which airline are planning to book our tickets? And the most important question, how much do I need to pay for booking my ticket?
I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely,
Khashayar PartoviSubmitted by khashayarpartovi on
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Task Response
To improve the task response, ensure that all components of the prompt are thoroughly covered. While your letter effectively answers the query, adding more details about how you plan to assist specifically during the trip could enhance your response. Consider elaborating on different scenarios where your expertise could be beneficial, not just in health-related issues but also in general supervision and support.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter shows good logical structure, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. To achieve an even higher score in coherence and cohesion, work on smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Using transitional phrases can enhance the flow of your writing and make it easier for the reader to follow.
Greeting and Closing
While your greeting and closing are appropriate, refining them for a more personalized touch could improve the overall tone of your letter. Addressing the headmaster by a more formal title and closing with a proper salutation can make your letter feel more polished.