your child is going on a school trip abroad for three days and the headmaster of the school has asked anyparents if they would like to come along to assist.you would like to go . write a letter to the headmaster. say why you woud like to go? Suggest what you could do to help during the trip? ask some further questions about the trip?

#child #school #trip #three #headmaster #anyparents #woud #questions

Dear Mrs. Smith

This

is khashayar Partovi- Mary’s father. I am writing

this

letter regarding a three-day school

trip

Paris

. I would really like to sign up for

this

journey.

First,

I have an upcoming conference about cancer in

Paris

which is very important at the time my daughter is in

Paris

. So I decided to sign up for the upcoming

trip

and be with my child throughout her journey. As you already know, I am a physician

therefore

I can teach students about hygienic behavior during their

trip

Moreover

, if students get infected I can examine and cure them easily.

In addition

this

trip

is my second journey to

Paris

and I am almost familiar with the city I can guide the students if they want to visit historical places in

Paris

Finally

, I want to ask you with which airline are planning to book our tickets? And the most important question, how much do I need to pay for booking my ticket? I look forward to hearing from you. Yours sincerely, Khashayar Partovi

Submitted by khashayarpartovi on Thu Feb 29 2024

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Task Response

To improve the task response, ensure that all components of the prompt are thoroughly covered. While your letter effectively answers the query, adding more details about how you plan to assist specifically during the trip could enhance your response. Consider elaborating on different scenarios where your expertise could be beneficial, not just in health-related issues but also in general supervision and support.

Coherence and Cohesion

The letter shows good logical structure, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. To achieve an even higher score in coherence and cohesion, work on smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Using transitional phrases can enhance the flow of your writing and make it easier for the reader to follow.

Greeting and Closing

While your greeting and closing are appropriate, refining them for a more personalized touch could improve the overall tone of your letter. Addressing the headmaster by a more formal title and closing with a proper salutation can make your letter feel more polished.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

176 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

in some countries more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or buliding they live in. what are the reason for this? how can people research this?