It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It is beneficial for all age groups of individuals to have
savings
. I believe that these savings
can give people
a sense of relief and comfort, and it can make people
adept at using their money
wisely.
First of all, having extra money
can stop people
from worrying too much. People
save money
from time
to time
to spend on something they usually need immediately like, repairing their car, surgical operation, or moving from their neighborhood. They can do all these things because of their savings
and if their savings
account is empty they will be anxious about future events that could occur. So, saving money
can relieve people
of unpredictable events in the future.
Secondly
, putting aside extra cash can teach people
how to manage their salary. Most people
put a portion of their salaries at the start of each month into their savings
account to reduce their available total credit. They can then
spend all their money
on necessary things such
as paying installments
and buying clothes or groceries. Change the spelling
instalments
This
can prevent them from having unnecessary expenditures which most people
are addicted to. As a result
, it is advantageous for people
to save their money
to spend less on useless things.
In conclusion, I believe that having money
to spare all the time
can save people
from unseen events in the future and relieve their minds at the same time
. Also
, it can give people
money
-related skills that are useful in their lives.Submitted by mohamad.m.sharifi74 on
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task achievement
While the response is generally clear and addresses the task prompt well, you could provide more specific examples to support your points more thoroughly. For instance, mentioning some concrete scenarios where savings were crucial for young people could enhance your argument.
task achievement
Consider ensuring that each main point is fully developed within its paragraph. You have solid main points, but further elaboration and more detailed explanations could strengthen your response.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, though there is room for improvement by using more varied transition words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly and clearly.
coherence cohesion
Work on expanding your explanations and connecting your points more tightly. This will improve the overall cohesion of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and efficiently framed. The essay starts with a strong thesis statement and ends with a concise summary of your main arguments.
task achievement
Your ideas are relevant to the task and clearly stated. You maintain a good focus on the topic throughout the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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