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Band 6.5

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want on web or phone without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#future #nobody #newspapers #books #web #phone
With the advancement of technology digital
resources
 become widespread among
people
.
Therefore
, most
people
 believe that printed
newspapers
 or
books
 will be replaced with digital
ones
 without any payment. I agree with
this
 statement from solely one angle. On the one hand, digital
resources
 make everything more attainable. The usefulness of digital tools
such
 as e-book applications, makes them
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prominent options for
people
. Thereby, whenever they want to go somewhere to study or just only to travel they opt for online
resources
instead
 of printed
ones
.
However
, in
this
 tough competitive
era
Add a comma
era,
show examples
 I do not assume that either
books
nor
Replace the word
or
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newspapers
 will become free. Even if internet generation becomes more widespread it is unrealistic to assume free
resources
 in upcoming years. Men have always been concerned about making a profit in anything they produce. It stems from our instinctual ambition.
On the other hand
, printed
books
 and
newspapers
 have their own charm.
Due to
 their sentimental value a great number of
people
 will continue to opt for printed
ones
. They are not used solely for learning aims but
also
 for collecting for our bookshelves which are a testament to our love for
books
.
People
 who are really content with
books
 and fond of immersing themselves in
books
 or
newspapers
 would not prefer those digital
ones
.
To conclude
,
although
 it is undeniable that choices depend on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
’s personalities and aspirations about their lives I believe, the majority of
people
 won’t replace printed
books
 and
newspapers
 with e-
books
 even in the long term.
Submitted by aleynacanacikel on

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task achievement
Clarify your stance more strongly in the introduction to ensure the reader understands your perspective from the beginning.
task achievement
Add more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments, particularly when discussing the ongoing demand for printed materials.
coherence and cohesion
Work on transitions between paragraphs to improve the flow of your essay. This will make your arguments more cohesive.
language proficiency
Review the essay for minor grammatical mistakes and refine it for clearer expression. This will enhance the overall quality and readability of your writing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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