some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together, To what extent dou you agree of disagree wtih this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages #dou #wtih

It is often believed that

music

is a good method to connect individuals from a variety of nations or stages of life. I totally agree with

this

statement and will discuss my opinion in

this

essay with relevant examples.

To begin

with, it is evident that

music

is a universal language regardless of different origins or language barriers.

Therefore

, in many social or communal

gathering

Fix the agreement mistake

gatherings

show examples

such

as festivals, concerts or family programs

music

plays a central role. More than that,

Change preposition

show examples

these kind

Change the determiner

this kind

these kinds

show examples

of occasion

people

tend to enjoy

music

from different regions.

For instance

, Most of the marriage programs of Bangladesh

celebrates

Correct subject-verb agreement

celebrate

show examples

with

hindi

Change the capitalization

Hindi

show examples

songs of various artists of India.

Moreover

, a

muscial

Correct your spelling

musical

play with deep emotional meaning can evoke strong emotions of all ages and backgrounds.

For example

, songs composed about family bonds always make audiences feel related to it. In

recent

Add an article

the recent

show examples

era,

people

are

Wrong verb form

have been

show examples

using

music

as a therapy for those

people

who has to cope with various physical and emotional challenges. In fact, lots of patients have found their health becomes better physically and mentally thanks to

this

method. In conclusion, I firmly believe that

music

can create bonds between

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

of diverse countries or ages through plays, songs or

Change preposition

apply

show examples

any other forms. Not only that, it can

also

help

people

to recover from their variant physical and mental issues.

Submitted by ciyegof884 on Wed Dec 13 2023

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coherence cohesion

Make sure to develop your paragraphs thoroughly. Each main point should be elaborated upon with enough detail to clearly showcase its relevance to the question.

coherence cohesion

In order to improve clarity, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all supporting sentences are directly related to it.

coherence cohesion

Utilise a wider range of connective words and phrases to link ideas within and between sentences and paragraphs to improve your score in coherence and cohesion.

task achievement

For full task achievement, ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt with elaborate discussion and examples.

task achievement

Increase the specificity and relevance of examples to strengthen the essay. While the given examples are on the right track, they could be more detailed and closer tied to your arguments for better task achievement.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

225 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together, To what extent dou you agree of disagree wtih this opinion?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

20.People who damage public property, such as buildings or status should be required to do community service (such as cleaning parks) as a punishment rather than other forms of punishment (such as paying a fine or going to prison). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Tobacco is a kind of drug. People have been free to use it. Some people think that it should be illegal to use it comparing with other drugs. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What is your opinion?

Comany ask for employee personal information for hiring do you agree and give your opinion

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and the disadvantages of this?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+