IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Governments should spend money on railway rather than roads. To what extent do vou agree or disagree with the statement?

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Nowadays, governments have to spend money on railways rather than roads. Some
people
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 assert that the installation of a new
railway
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 is more crucial. I support
this
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 idea because the installation of the
railway
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 is more helpful in promoting the suburban
area
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's economy.
Firstly
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, a
railway
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 should be installed because it would make it more convenient for
people
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 to travel and commute.
For example
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,
people
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 who do not have a car have difficulties commuting. If there is no
railway
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, they should in case of traffic jams or could have to move their home nearby workplaces.
Therefore
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,
it is clear that
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 the development of railways has to be done as soon as possible because the comfortable transportation services will encourage
people
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 to live in that
area
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, and it is entirely understandable that
people
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 usually would like to live in a well-facilitated
area
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.
Next,
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railways should be installed quickly because installing the
railway
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 takes more time than forming roads.
Moreover
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, it promotes the economy of surrounding areas as there will be many facilities
such
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 as cafes, restaurants, and hospitals
nearby
Correct your spelling
near
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railway
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 stations.
To sum up
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,
it is clear that
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railway
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 construction should be carried out earlier than roads as convenient transportation will attract a number of tourists.
Therefore
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, the economy of that region will be more robust, and the living costs of that
area
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 will
also
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 increase.

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task achievement
Develop your introduction more significantly by briefly mentioning the main arguments you plan to discuss. This will give the reader a clearer understanding of your essay's direction.
task achievement
To enhance your essay, ensure you address both sides of the argument when the question asks to what extent you agree or disagree. This will provide a more comprehensive response and demonstrate your ability to engage with complex ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Try using a broader range of connectors and discourse markers to guide the reader more smoothly through your arguments. This would improve the overall coherence and cohesion of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
In addition to providing general examples, aim to include specific, detailed examples to support your main points. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more convincing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • urbanization
  • efficient
  • sustainable
  • commute
  • congestion
  • emissions
  • connectivity
  • employment
  • investment
  • preservation
  • tourist attractions
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