Some people say that professional work like doctor and teacher great contribution to the society should be paid more than those people in the field of sports and entertainment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In our ordinary world society divides the community into groups, teachers and doctors make a great contribution and can attain their goals through their work and have a high level of wage,
however
, the people in sports and creativity should gain less. I totally disagree with
this
statement. On the one hand, our society can measure the class of people by their
wages
,
this
method has a common influence in our rapid life. Teachers,doctors,scientists and representatives of common occupations should gain more than the others,
this
rule can be visible from century to century.
Furthermore
, when families start to speak about the future department of their child,they prefer to choose a more technical and practical department than humanities,but when their child supports another side and wants to learn more creative works,
this
can lead to conflicts and disagreements. Without question in
this
case the main role plays is the
wages
and skills that they can achieve in the study process. On another hand, entertainment has provided sportsmen and new talents with an opportunity to gain less experience and knowledge and
also
givethem
Correct your spelling
give them
a chance to attain high
wages
.
For instance
, social media helps people to prove their skills and provide them with entertainment.
This
method of work was helped In 2020 the world was in lockdown and recently society understood that entertainment has a great way to earn a good salary and promote themselves by using social media applications.
Overall
, in my point of view some social workers like surgeons, and dentists are gaining high
wages
and underserved high amounts of paid severely.
Submitted by batirka06 on

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Task Achievement
To improve your Task Achievement score, ensure you fully address the prompt by presenting a clear stance throughout your essay. Include a balanced discussion on the importance of different professions, supported by specific examples and a conclusion summarizing your viewpoint.
Coherence & Cohesion
Enhance the Coherence and Cohesion of your essay by organizing your ideas more logically. Start with an introduction that clearly states your thesis, follow with body paragraphs that each cover a single main idea, and conclude by summarizing your thoughts. Use transitional phrases to connect ideas and maintain a logical flow.
Task Achievement
Integrate more specific, relevant examples to support your main points. This will not only make your essay more engaging but also demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic. Ensure these examples are directly linked to the arguments you are making.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • indispensable
  • justified
  • revenue generation
  • critical contribution
  • balanced reward system
  • market dynamics
  • job satisfaction
  • talented individuals
  • public interest
  • well-being
  • development
  • mental health
  • happiness
  • attract
  • advocating
  • overpaid
  • equally important
  • ensuring
  • reflects
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