IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

In most countries, prison is an effective solution to the problem of crime. Some people think it is a more effective solution to provide education for those who violate the law. To what extent do you agree or disagree

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In today's world, offering educational programs is considered the best solution to tackle the significant increase in crime rate
while
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 some argue that prisons are the best solution to prevent
this
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 issue. I agree with 2 different statements equally. On the one hand, a number of training and rehabilitation programs should be offered to the majority of offenders, because they may contribute positively to the country's economy in the future if inmates take advantage of these opportunities.
For example
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, individuals who are provided with business and software education may broaden their horizons and increase their important skills
such
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 as communication and programming.
Consequently
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, inmates will be able to work in different industries to meet basic needs and pay taxes, and bills, which will be beneficial to the country's financial budget increasing
overall
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 revenues.
On the other hand
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, long-term prison sentences pave the way for the public to feel a sense of safety and protection. To be specific, criminals are locked away and by keeping offenders off the street, they cannot commit a crime.
For example
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, if there were no prisons, many dangerous consequences,
such
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 as re-offending, may happen in society.
Furthermore
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, it is more effective when people are aware of exact punishments to avoid crimes, so the government has to put convicts behind bars. In conclusion, I would agree that lawbreakers are given educational courses during incarceration to increase the financial revenue in a certain country.
However
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, imprisonment, which is a prevalent method, is
also
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 necessary to provide the public with safety and welfare

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly presents your stance on the topic. Although you mentioned you agree with both statements, it would make your position more compelling if you explicitly stated your main argument.
task achievement
Develop your main ideas further by providing more detailed examples and explanations in each paragraph. This will help strengthen your argument and support your viewpoints.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay in a clear and logical manner. Use paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas and use linking words to ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your conclusion succinctly summarizes your main points and restates your opinion. This reinforces your argument to the reader.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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