Zoos are inhumane and pointless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many people say zoos are unethical environments for animal survival.
Although
Linking Words
I understand why some advocate the aforementioned view, I assert that keeping
wildlife
Use synonyms
in cages can offer advantages to a certain extent. Some argue that zoological gardens are improper places to adopt wild
species
Use synonyms
. One possible explanation for
this
Linking Words
belief is that the adversaries may think
wildlife
Use synonyms
is not well-treated when kept in cages for public display. Indeed, visitors are inclined to provoke the animals unethically,
such
Linking Words
as interrupting wild
species
Use synonyms
' sleep quality and duration,
hence
Linking Words
reducing their well-being. Another factor reinforcing the perspective above is that living in secure and artificial environments can erode
wildlife
Use synonyms
's natural instincts. Captive animals are given diverse nutrients by zookeepers
according to
Linking Words
a scheduled time. At first glance,
this
Linking Words
can be beneficial to them.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
positivity can affect their predatory behaviour   in the long term, diminishing their ability to track and
then
Linking Words
hunt prey when they return to nature.
However
Linking Words
, I maintain the view that preserving
wildlife
Use synonyms
in enclosures is not a moral action. The first highlight is that creatures in captivity have longer lifespans than natural ones. Nowadays, these
species
Use synonyms
are conserved around the clock from illegal hunting by strict protection systems in zoos, helping them avoid the brink of mass extinction.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the owners of these establishments can collaborate with veterinarians to give them routine vaccinations and physical exams to keep them healthy and prevent diseases,
hence
Linking Words
increasing their lives. The second idea of
this
Linking Words
argument is that these non-natural environments can become educational destinations for people who want to gain more knowledge about creatures in nature. Visitors can observe their behaviours, learn about their habitats, and
then
Linking Words
raise awareness that wild creatures
also
Linking Words
need to receive the respect they deserve.
In addition
Linking Words
, by paying entrance fees, these people are contributing financially to the economics of zoological gardens to foster the animals. In conclusion, zoos are not harmful places for wild
species
Use synonyms
, and I agree with
this
Linking Words
.
Submitted by Mads on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Enhance your introduction by clearly stating your opinion and briefly indicating the points you will discuss. This makes your essay more engaging and gives a clearer roadmap to the reader.
Task Achievement
Your essay could benefit from more specific examples and data to support your arguments. Providing concrete examples or statistics can significantly strengthen your claims and make your essay more persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to link your ideas and paragraphs with a variety of cohesive devices. While your essay shows good use of linking words, striving for a mix of complex and simple conjunctions can enhance the flow of your writing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider revising your conclusion to more effectively summarize your key points and restate your opinion in a compelling manner. This helps reinforce your argument and leaves a lasting impression on your reader.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: