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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular caribbean island. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

the graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular caribbean island. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph gives information about how many
visitors
Use synonyms
 visited a specific
island
Use synonyms
 in
Caribbean
Correct article usage
the Caribbean
show examples
 between the years 2010-2017. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it is readily apparent that
number
Change the article
the number
show examples
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased
through out
Correct your spelling
throughout
show examples
this
Linking Words
 period. At
first,
Linking Words
visitors
Use synonyms
 who stayed on
Use synonyms
island
Add an article
the island
show examples
 were more than the
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 who stayed on
cruise
Add an article
a cruise
the cruise
show examples
 ship. In 2010, 1
million
Use synonyms
 people in total visited
this
Linking Words
island
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 number experienced a gradual increase to almost 2.7
million
Use synonyms
 in 2016.
Then
Linking Words
 it was a significant rise to 3.5
million
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of the period.
Numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
Number
show examples
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
island
Add an article
the island
show examples
 who liked to be on
ship
Correct article usage
the ship
show examples
 experienced a fluctuation before 2013, which was 0.5
million
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
,
quantity
Add an article
the quantity
a quantity
show examples
 of them gradually increased to 2
million
Use synonyms
 in 2017.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the volume of
visitors
Use synonyms
 who stayed on
Use synonyms
island
Add an article
the island
show examples
 was almost 0.7
million
Use synonyms
 in 2000. For one year,
this
Linking Words
 quantity didn't change, and
then
Linking Words
 it
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
gradually increased to 1.5
million
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
 in 2010, and remained steadily the same number until 2017, except for a small dip in 2016.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, island, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Tourists
  • Caribbean
  • Visit
  • Graph
  • Summarize
  • Trend
  • Fluctuate
  • Peak season
  • Anomalies
  • Increase
  • Decrease
  • Comparisons
  • Sector
  • Significant
  • Patterns
  • Overview
  • Analyze
  • Data
  • Year-on-year
  • Percentage
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