Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and dtermination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Dicuss both views and give your opinion.

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In today's competitive landscape, the pursuit of
wealth
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and physical attractiveness has gained increasing prominence.
While
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some argue that
success
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is primarily tied to one's financial status and appearance, others contend that unwavering determination is the cornerstone of achieving genuine power.
This
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essay will delve into both viewpoints by examining a range of examples. On one side of the spectrum, the emphasis on external beauty and
wealth
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has grown in significance in the digital era. Many
individuals
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prioritize lucrative careers in sectors
such
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as fashion or
modeling
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modelling

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, leveraging their attractive looks to secure well-paid positions.
Similarly
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, those who amass substantial
wealth
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often equate financial prosperity with personal
fulfillment
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fulfilment

The spelling of fulfillment is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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and societal esteem. It is not uncommon to see affluent
individuals
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flaunting their material possessions as symbols of
success
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.
Conversely
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the significance of hard work and ambition in attaining
success
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should not be underestimated.
Individuals
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who wholeheartedly commit themselves to their education or professions with perseverance and dedication are more likely to realize their objectives.
For example
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, students invest considerable effort in their studies before embarking on their careers, showcasing their dedication to future pursuits.
Furthermore
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, many accomplished entrepreneurs attribute their achievements to unwavering determination and resilience in pursuing their passions, even in the face of adversity. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the allure of
wealth
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and physical attractiveness may be appealing in contemporary society, it is ultimately one's determination and diligence that pave the path to genuine
success
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Irrespective of external factors,
individuals
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who demonstrate steadfast commitment and perseverance are more likely to actualize their aspirations and experience enduring
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment

The spelling of fulfillment is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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.

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Logical Structure
Ensure a clear and concise introduction that outlines the essay's structure, helping readers understand the flow of arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use linking words effectively to ensure coherency between paragraphs and within sentences.
Supported Main Points
Incorporate more concrete examples to support your main points, enhancing the persuasiveness of your essay.
Complete Response
Focus on fully answering the question by covering all aspects of the task, including providing a balanced discussion of both views and your own opinion.
Clear & Comprehensive Ideas
Strive for clarity in presenting your ideas by organizing them in a logical and accessible manner.
Relevant & Specific Examples
Incorporate real-world examples or data to provide evidence for your arguments, making them more relevant and convincing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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