Due to evelopment and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countires, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In today's society, It is probably true that big markets are appearing all over the city, the number of local
markekts
Correct your spelling
markets
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
decreasing
due to
the many advantages of larger malls. In my view, I agree strongly with
this
viewpoint that rising of supermarkets
give
Verb problem
causes
show examples
the collapse of small communities. One of the main reasons for going
mega
Change preposition
to mega
show examples
shopping centres
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
accessibilitye
Correct your spelling
accessibility
to visit
Verb problem
of
show examples
the place.
This
is to say,
people
can shop anytime, regardless of weather, time, and even parking.
For example
, most local malls are outdoors and often small, making it
difficults
Correct your spelling
difficult
to shop in rainy weather, when you need a car with lots of luggage, or when you're pushing a stroller.
On the other hand
, Big
shops
are able to drive up after parking comfortably and buy the products no matter what the weather is.
For
this
reason,
people
who
wanna
Verb problem
want
show examples
convience
Correct your spelling
convenience
convince
shopping will
choice
Replace the word
choose
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
supermakets
Correct your spelling
supermarkets
supermarket
instead
of local communities.
Furhtermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, the mega malls offer a wide
ranges
Correct the article-noun agreement
range
show examples
of choices for
people
who have
desire
Change the article
the desire
show examples
to purchase
everyting
Correct your spelling
everything
they want in one place.
For instance
, if you want to get the cheese, small
bussiness
Correct your spelling
businesses
provide only two or three popular cheeses, but
a larger
Correct the article-noun agreement
larger shops
a larger shop
show examples
shops
will have 10 or more products for you.
This
is because a larger
bussiness
Correct your spelling
business
trade
Fix the agreement mistake
trades
show examples
with multiple international
retailer
Change to a plural noun
retailers
show examples
,
while
smaller ones use domestic.
Thus
, many consumers will think
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
big market when they need to buy something more and more rather than local
shop
Fix the agreement mistake
shops
show examples
. In conclusion, I believe,
people
will increasingly
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
larger
shops
because big markets have both
accessiblity
Correct your spelling
accessibility
and shopping variety.
Due to
this
trend, small
shops
have
risk
Add an article
the risk
a risk
show examples
of disappearance.
Hence
, I agree
that
Change preposition
with
show examples
the above opinion.
Submitted by dlwltn6615 on

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Language
For future essays, aim to proofread your work to catch and correct any spelling mistakes, such as 'development' instead of 'evelopment', 'local markets' vs. 'local markekts', 'convenience' instead of 'convience', and 'supermarkets' instead of 'supermakets'. Consistent attention to spelling can further refine your exceptional writing.
Language
Try to vary your sentence structures more to showcase your language skills. While your essay is well-organized and the ideas are clearly communicated, experimenting with complex sentence constructions can add further depth to your writing.
Structure
Consider using paragraph hooks or transitions to make the flow between paragraphs even smoother. You’re already doing a great job at maintaining coherence, but subtle connectors or thematic links at the end or beginning of paragraphs can enhance readability.
Task Response
Your essay excellently addresses the prompt, fully developing your argument with well-supported points. This level of detailed analysis significantly strengthens your response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your logical structuring of the essay, including a clear introduction, body paragraphs with distinct points, and a summarizing conclusion, enhances the coherence and cohesion of your work. Great job maintaining this structure throughout.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • rapid expansion
  • local communities
  • compete
  • closure
  • death
  • domination
  • convenience
  • affordability
  • community hubs
  • sense of belonging
  • economic stagnation
  • unique character
  • homogenized society
  • underserved areas
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