IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Every year large numbers of people migrate from one country to another for different reasons. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of migration for the individual and for society as a whole.

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Country
Use synonyms
 migration is a human phenomenon that has happened yearly at a considerable scale since the old times, but the reasons why people migrate may vary.
This
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 essay will discuss the positive and negative aspects of migrating to another
country
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. If in the past humans migrated from one place to another to hunt, or explore new territories, nowadays, humans choose to migrate to another
country
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 for different reasons. Some individuals benefit from migrating from their homeland to a new
country
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 to embrace better career opportunities, live a different lifestyle or for quality of life. These are the lead reasons why most of the immigrants chose
countries
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such
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 as Australia and New Zealand to live,
for example
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.
In addition
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, immigrants have been contributing to these
countries
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' economies, promoting social change and filling job positions on demand.
On the other hand
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, mother
countries
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 face the loss of a qualified workforce as many who choose to move abroad are engineers and IT specialists.
Moreover
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,
while
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 some choose to migrate others do not have a choice and need to leave their
country
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 obliged. Immigrants need to face difficulties
such
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 as living far from their families, adapting to a new language and culture and even xenophobia.
For example
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, European
countries
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 suck UK and Germany have been receiving a large number of refugees and asylum seekers from African nations that migrated
due to
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 traumatic experiences. In a broader context,
this
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 may
also
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 bring new challenges for the communities in fields
such
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 as healthcare systems and social welfare. In conclusion, migrating to another
country
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 has benefits and drawbacks for eighter individuals and communities.
While
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 the benefits include experiencing a new culture and lifestyle, embracing better opportunities and quality of life, and contributing to the
country
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's economy, there are negative impacts
such
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 as challenges to adapting to the new culture and pressure in welfare systems.

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task achievement
To improve your task response, try to further develop your examples to be more specific and detailed. This will help your essay to convey more comprehensive and relevant arguments to the reader.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, work on enhancing the link between ideas using transitional phrases. This can make the flow of your essay smoother, ensuring that your arguments are easier to follow.
general
Remember to fully explore both sides of the argument, providing comparable attention and depth to each perspective. This will make your essay more balanced and comprehensive.
structure
You've effectively introduced and concluded your essay, ensuring a clear structure is present. Well done!
content cover
You've provided a well-rounded overview of the topic, covering significant aspects related to individual and societal impacts. Your broad approach is commendable.
examples
Your example mentioning migrants from African nations to European countries such as the UK and Germany adds relevant insight into your essay, enhancing the reader's understanding of real-world implications.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Migration
  • Migrate
  • Immigrant
  • Emigrant
  • Integration
  • Multiculturalism
  • Expatriate
  • Asylum seeker
  • Diaspora
  • Naturalization
  • Work permit
  • Visa
  • Residence
  • Citizenship
  • Deportation
  • Brain drain
  • Demographic
  • Xenophobia
  • Cultural shock
  • Social network
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