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Band 6.5

Some people say that the best way to increase road safety is to increase the minimum legal age of driving motorbikes or cars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #road #safety #age #motorbikes #cars
It is argued by some
people
 that the effective method to gain
road
safety
 is adding the minimum legal
age
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 driving
motorbikes
 or
cars
. In my opinion, increasing the standard legal
age
 for driving
motorbikes
 or
cars
 could help to gain
road
safety
.
Firstly
, increasing the standard
age
 for driving
motorbikes
 or
cars
 will lead to
road
safety
. If many
people
 understand that the
number
 of
age
 are matters for driving
motorbikes
 or
cars
 it could be as
safety
 awareness for themselves.
Therefore
, the increase in legal
age
 should be as main concern of the government to help reduce the
number
accidents
Change preposition
of accidents
show examples
 caused by
people
 who don't fully the standard
age
 for driving.
Moreover
,
people
 believe putting a minimum legal
age
 for driving
motorbikes
 or
cars
 will give drawbacks.
First,
people
 will think twice about getting their driving license because of the minimum
age
 given by the authorities.
However
,
this
 action will lead to
safety
 and help to decrease the
number
 of accidents happening on the
road
.
Second,
the
number
 of ages for a driving license is crucial because it shows how mentally ready someone is to drive on the
road
.
Therefore
, it will
become
Verb problem
be
show examples
 wise if anyone who wants to drive a motorbike or car is fully
the requirement
Wrong verb form
required
show examples
, especially enough
age
. In conclusion, I strongly believe before somebody wants to drive
motorbikes
 or
cars
 on the
road
, they should pay attention to the requirements given
such
 as legal
age
 because it will prevent bad things happens on the
road
 that can become a loss to anyone.
Therefore
, everybody should be aware of the legal
age
 for driving that can lead them to
safety
 on the
road
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
You have a clear logical structure in your essay, making your argument easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-defined, effectively framing your essay's main argument.
task achievement
You've clearly stated your opinion and supported it throughout your essay, which is crucial for task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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