IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say that the best way to increase road safety is to increase the minimum legal age of driving motorbikes or cars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is argued by some
people
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 that the effective method to gain
road
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safety
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 is adding the minimum legal
age
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of
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for
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 driving
motorbikes
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 or
cars
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. In my opinion, increasing the standard legal
age
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 for driving
motorbikes
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 or
cars
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 could help to gain
road
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safety
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.
Firstly
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, increasing the standard
age
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 for driving
motorbikes
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 or
cars
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 will lead to
road
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safety
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. If many
people
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 understand that the
number
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 of
age
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 are matters for driving
motorbikes
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 or
cars
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 it could be as
safety
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 awareness for themselves.
Therefore
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, the increase in legal
age
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 should be as main concern of the government to help reduce the
number
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accidents
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of accidents
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 caused by
people
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 who don't fully the standard
age
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 for driving.
Moreover
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,
people
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 believe putting a minimum legal
age
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 for driving
motorbikes
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 or
cars
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 will give drawbacks.
First,
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people
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 will think twice about getting their driving license because of the minimum
age
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 given by the authorities.
However
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,
this
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 action will lead to
safety
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 and help to decrease the
number
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 of accidents happening on the
road
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.
Second,
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the
number
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 of ages for a driving license is crucial because it shows how mentally ready someone is to drive on the
road
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.
Therefore
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, it will
become
Verb problem
be
show examples
 wise if anyone who wants to drive a motorbike or car is fully
the requirement
Wrong verb form
required
show examples
, especially enough
age
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. In conclusion, I strongly believe before somebody wants to drive
motorbikes
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 or
cars
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 on the
road
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, they should pay attention to the requirements given
such
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 as legal
age
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 because it will prevent bad things happens on the
road
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 that can become a loss to anyone.
Therefore
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, everybody should be aware of the legal
age
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 for driving that can lead them to
safety
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 on the
road
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.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to support your main ideas, as this will add depth to your argument and make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Try varying your sentence structures and using a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the overall readability and effectiveness of your essay.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear logical structure in your essay, making your argument easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-defined, effectively framing your essay's main argument.
task achievement
You've clearly stated your opinion and supported it throughout your essay, which is crucial for task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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