IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays some professionals such as doctors, lawyers and engineers are paid much higher than ordinary workers. What do you think of this trend? Are there any jobs which you think should offer higher salaries?

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It is true that regular employees are not able to earn as high as people can get paid in some high-skilled professions,
such
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 as doctors, engineers and lawyers. I think getting paid much higher as compared to ordinary workers definitely has a positive effect on society and
also
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 describes some other
jobs
Use synonyms
 that
also
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 need higher salaries. To commence with, these career choices demand a high level of education, training, and time, which justifies the amount they are getting paid. To clarify , students have to spend an enormous amount of precious time and money to enhance theoretical and practical knowledge to beat the competition to become experts in that particular field.
In addition
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, the number of students who are brilliant and sharp-minded enough to master those subjects is deficient, as these subjects have plenty of information to memorise within a few years.
Furthermore
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, it is a huge responsibility for any individual to fulfil the requirements of
such
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 kinds of
jobs
Use synonyms
.
For instance
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, sometimes doctor have to sacrifice their career when things go wrong during operations. Apart from that, better health services, justice, infrastructure, and education are some of the major priorities of the present world. So it is vital to fill those vacancies as soon as possible to overcome the problems related to these sectors.
Also
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, high-salary packages motivate students to work hard to accomplish targets for getting highly skilled
jobs
Use synonyms
.
However
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, there are
also
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 some other
jobs
Use synonyms
,
such
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 as teachers, policemen, and firefighters should
also
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 get paid equally because they
also
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 have equal contributions to make
this
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 world better.
For instance
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, teachers share their information with every student to make them responsible citizens of the nation.
To conclude
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, I would like to state that these career choices have responsibilities, different requirements, and difficulty levels that make them special.
Therefore
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, they should pay better than ordinary employees, but there are
also
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 some other extraordinary fields that should be taken into consideration.

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task response
Ensure you fully develop all parts of the task. Although you addressed the trend of higher salaries for certain professionals and mentioned jobs that should have higher salaries, there was no deep exploration of why this difference exists and whether it is justified beyond education and responsibility. Including more diverse and detailed reasoning would strengthen your essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensure that all subsequent sentences are directly related to this main idea to improve the coherence of your argument. Try to use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing techniques to help the essay flow more naturally and logically.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Compensation
  • Expertise
  • Income disparity
  • Societal contribution
  • Automation
  • Scarcity
  • Market dynamics
  • Infrastructure
  • Professional ethics
  • Economic disparity
  • Undervalued
  • Meritocracy
  • Vocational skill
  • Job market
  • Wage gap
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