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Writing Samples
Band 5

Computers and A.I technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a postive or negative development?

#computers #technology #education #intelligence #postive #development
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In a cutting-edge society , more and more AI systems and computers are applied for distance education .
This
 development may improve the
qualities
Fix the agreement mistake
quality
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 of academic experience .
This
 writer believes that artificial intelligence has a beneficial impact on
studying
Correct article usage
the studying
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 process of humans . It is interesting to understand that artificial products may create a better educational environment for people on networking platforms . It should be acknowledged that by accessing the Internet , it is effortless for students to have numerous practical lessons
instead
 of going out for extra classes.
This
 is
due to
 the fact that AI
learning-systems
Correct your spelling
learning systems
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 may support
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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 with various valuable information .
Consequently
 , they can effortlessly enrich their knowledge to find a stable and high-paying job in the future .
For
example
 , Oxford
Capitalize word
University
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university
Capitalize word
University
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 is a prime
example
for
Change preposition
of
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this
 circumstance ,
this
 school has a tendency to prompt their students to
studying
Change the verb form
study
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 online
due to
 precious lectures
On the other hand
, I would agree with those who think that developments in the field of AI will have beneficial effects on our lives in the
not so distant
Add a hyphen
not-so-distant
show examples
 future.
For
example
, thanks to breakthroughs in satellite and spacecraft technologies, scientists will be able to make more precise predictions about extreme events,
such
 as asteroid collisions or violent storms, which might threaten life on Earth. Another
example
 is that advances in automobile technology would help curb traffic congestion and improve road safety. Driverless cars and surveillance cameras would greatly contribute to minimising traffic accidents and traffic offences. In conclusion,
although
 some people are worried about the threats that AI will cause to the world, I personally believe that developments in
this
 technology will bring huge benefits to our lives.
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Task Achievement
Make sure your essay stays focused on the topic. The second paragraph diverges into a discussion about technology in general, rather than focusing strictly on online education and AI. Try to consistently relate back to the question throughout your essay.
Task Achievement
Try to clearly develop your arguments with specific examples related to online education and AI. While you've begun to do this, more detailed examples would strengthen your response.
Coherence & Cohesion
Improve paragraphing by ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main idea or topic sentence and that all sentences within the paragraph directly support that main idea. This will enhance the logical structure and clarity of your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use transition words and phrases to better signal the relationship between ideas, paragraphs, and sections of your essay. This will make your argument more coherent and easier for the reader to follow.
Introduction
Your introduction sets a strong foundation for discussing the impact of AI on online education, clearly stating your viewpoint.
Relevance to Topic
You've identified some potential benefits of AI in education, which aligns with the task of discussing whether AI enhances the learning experience.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint and the main points discussed, providing a strong close to your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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