Being able to speak a foreign language is an advantage these days. Some people think that children should start learning a foreign language at primary school, while others think children should begin in secondary school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Today, communicating in a foreign
language
is often seen as a vital skill that everyone needs to possess.
Language
learning is a process which requires a start at a proper stage,
however
, there are contrasting views on when it is better for
children
to be exposed to it. For some individuals, early start is more important, particularly in primary education,
while
secondary education is seen to be more appropriate by others.
Although
both sides have reliable arguments, I agree with the first view. (I agree that the earlier they are immersed in it, the better the results will be). Both views will be discussed
as well as
my opinion. On the one hand, advocates of a later start argue that there are several factors that make secondary school perfect.
Firstly
,
children
are usually teenagers during
this
period, which means they have gained a sufficient vocabulary base in their first languages.
Therefore
, exposure to another
language
would not cause them any strain or any
speech related
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speech-related
show examples
problems because they already know some abstract notions in
native
Correct pronoun usage
their native
show examples
language
.
As a result
, they can easily relate new information to what they already have and can even compare the differences in both languages.  Reaching an adequate level of mental development is another reason that secondary schoolchildren tend to have reached a milestone which can help them analyze and comprehend complex ideas which cannot be explained without sufficient life understanding.
On the other hand
, I agree with those who believe immersion in primary school years is more likely to help
children
in the long run. Throughout
this
phase,
children
are quite young, and they have
fresh
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a fresh
show examples
language
learning experience.
This
newly acquired skill can assist them in the continuous path of another
language
before they must deal with other mental developmental processes
such
as the change in their attention span and their physiology.
Hence
, they do not worry about making mistakes because they do not always understand that they are making one and
this
, in turn, helps them to be more confident to communicate in another
language
.
Moreover
,
children
are eager to explore new things as their curiosity levels are higher compared to those of older ones. Basic vocabulary learning might appear to be fascinating for them when they learn to name objects in different languages.
This
early learning poses benefits like effortless input and a good command of a foreign
language
with flexibility and spontaneity which they mostly need in future lives.   In conclusion, an adequate mental step and a sufficiently acquired native
language
are believed by some to be
most
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the most
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vital arguments to start, but I agree that learning a
language
should start as early as possible to gain most of its benefits when they have curiosity and fresh minds.
Submitted by hamzayevasamina on

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Introduction Clarity
You have effectively introduced the topic and provided a clear opinion, which is essential for good task achievement. To enhance clarity, make your thesis statement in the introduction more directly related to the essay question.
Use of Examples
Try to include more specific examples to fully support your arguments. This would strengthen your essay by providing concrete evidence to back up your points.
Cohesion
You've shown good logical progression in your essay. However, using a wider range of cohesive devices, such as 'moreover,' 'however,' and 'on the other hand,' would improve the flow between ideas even more.
Paragraph Focus
Ensure each paragraph focuses on one main idea. This has been done well but can be improved with more distinct and impactful topic sentences.
Structure
Your essay has a strong structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Task Response
You've covered the task well by discussing both views and giving your own opinion.
Language Use
The language used is mostly precise and varied, which is excellent for conveying your points effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • globalized world
  • language acquisition
  • pronunciation
  • critical thinking
  • culturally aware
  • language interference
  • motivated approach
  • curriculum demands
  • natural learning abilities
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