IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of people who played four types of sport

The graph below shows the number of people who played four types of sport
The chart compares four sports games in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
players
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, 4 sports experienced different trends in the time period.
While
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
basketbal
Correct your spelling
basketball
 and badminton
players
Use synonyms
 stayed stable with slight fluctuation, the indicator of tennis and rugby increased and decreased considerably.
According to
Linking Words
 the line graph, the
number
Use synonyms
 of basketball
players
Use synonyms
 started
about
Change preposition
at about
show examples
 80
people
Use synonyms
 in 1985 and remained unchanged
untill
Correct your spelling
until
 2005. Regarding badminton
players
Use synonyms
, there were over 50
players
Use synonyms
 in 1985.
Then
Linking Words
, it had a slight decline to under 50
people
Use synonyms
 in 1990, it was followed by considerable growth to 50
people
Use synonyms
 in 1995. Afterwards, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
players
Use synonyms
 stayed steady by 2005. Turning to tennis
players
Use synonyms
, 150
people
Use synonyms
 played
this
Linking Words
 game in 1985.
Then
Linking Words
, the figure grew steadily to 200
players
Use synonyms
 in 1995. In the next decade, it
continiud
Correct your spelling
continued
continues
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 growth to reach a peak
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 about 210
people
Use synonyms
. Regarding rugby,
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 decline started with over 250
people
Use synonyms
 in 1985. After that, it had a slow drop to 200
players
Use synonyms
 in 1995.
Then
Linking Words
, the figure decreased sharply to 50
players
Use synonyms
 in 2005.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words number, players, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "considerably" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: