Natural resourses, such as water , forests and oil are being used at an excessive rate. What is the main cause of this problem? How can this issue be solved?

It is seen that
planets
Change the noun form
planet
show examples
resources are being consumed at an alarming rate. The primary cause of
this
phenomenon is the wasteful lifestyle in many countries in the
west
Capitalize word
West
show examples
and the most viable solution is to educate their young people about
this
issue. Countries in North America and Europe have a culture of waste.
That is
to say that their lifestyles involve consuming lots of natural resources for their transport, food and leisure time.
This
results in a huge amount of
energy
being consumed in the form of petrol in cars and coal and gas in electrical power stations. Many have become so used to
this
type of luxury that it is very difficult for them to contemplate a life without modern conveniences.
For example
, the most popular car in the United States is the SUV, which has the lowest fuel
effciency
Correct your spelling
efficiency
of the car and it is not unusual for the average home in Europe to have a TV in every room,
along with
many other electronic devices. A
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
solution to
this
predicament is to educate young people about the dangers of consuming resources irresponsibly. Children in schools could be taught about how to conserve
energy
and recycle so that the next generation will act more responsibly. They are
also
likely to teach their parents about the things they learned at school and adults will
also
be influenced by
this
intiative
Correct your spelling
initiative
.
For example
,
school children
Correct your spelling
schoolchildren
show examples
in Germany were taught about the consequences of treating the planet in a reckless manner and now they have one of the highest rates of recycling and renewable
energy
in the world. In conclusion, the planet is being depleted at a staggering rate because American and
Europian
Correct your spelling
European
show examples
citizens consume more than their fair share of
energy
and their children must be taught that conservation is the only answer.
Submitted by kandanav214 on

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task achievement
Consider adding a short sentence or two to the introduction that briefly states the specific ways in which countries can reduce their resource consumption. This will help sharpen the focus of your essay and provide a clearer roadmap of your main points.
task achievement
You mentioned that American and European citizens consume more than their fair share of resources. While this is an accurate point, try to provide a bit more detail or statistics to back up this statement. This will improve the depth of your examples.
coherence cohesion
There are a few grammatical and spelling errors (e.g., 'effciency' should be 'efficiency', 'Europian' should be 'European', 'intative' should be 'initiative'). A quick proofreading session can help you catch these minor issues and polish your writing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear and strong topic sentence, which guides the reader through the rest of the paragaph. This will help to maintain clarity in your argument and ensure each point is well-discussed.
task achievement
You've done well to identify the main cause of resource depletion and suggest a relevant and practical solution. These points are clear and logical.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, main body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This logical flow makes your arguments easy to follow.
task achievement
You've used relevant examples to support your points, such as the use of SUVs in the United States and the high rates of recycling in Germany.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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