Natural resourses, such as water , forests and oil are being used at an excessive rate. What is the main cause of this problem? How can this issue be solved?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is seen that

planets

Change the noun form

planet

show examples

resources are being consumed at an alarming rate. The primary cause of

this

Linking Words

phenomenon is the wasteful lifestyle in many countries in the

west

Capitalize word

West

show examples

and the most viable solution is to educate their young people about

this

Linking Words

issue. Countries in North America and Europe have a culture of waste.

That is

Linking Words

to say that their lifestyles involve consuming lots of natural resources for their transport, food and leisure time.

This

Linking Words

results in a huge amount of

energy

Use synonyms

being consumed in the form of petrol in cars and coal and gas in electrical power stations. Many have become so used to

this

Linking Words

type of luxury that it is very difficult for them to contemplate a life without modern conveniences.

For example

Linking Words

, the most popular car in the United States is the SUV, which has the lowest fuel

effciency

Correct your spelling

efficiency

of the car and it is not unusual for the average home in Europe to have a TV in every room,

along with

Linking Words

many other electronic devices. A

long term

Add a hyphen

long-term

show examples

solution to

this

Linking Words

predicament is to educate young people about the dangers of consuming resources irresponsibly. Children in schools could be taught about how to conserve

energy

Use synonyms

and recycle so that the next generation will act more responsibly. They are

also

Linking Words

likely to teach their parents about the things they learned at school and adults will

also

Linking Words

be influenced by

this

Linking Words

intiative

Correct your spelling

initiative

For example

Linking Words

school children

Correct your spelling

schoolchildren

show examples

in Germany were taught about the consequences of treating the planet in a reckless manner and now they have one of the highest rates of recycling and renewable

energy

Use synonyms

in the world. In conclusion, the planet is being depleted at a staggering rate because American and

Europian

Correct your spelling

European

show examples

citizens consume more than their fair share of

energy

Use synonyms

and their children must be taught that conservation is the only answer.

kandanav214Sat Jun 29 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Consider adding a short sentence or two to the introduction that briefly states the specific ways in which countries can reduce their resource consumption. This will help sharpen the focus of your essay and provide a clearer roadmap of your main points.

task achievement

You mentioned that American and European citizens consume more than their fair share of resources. While this is an accurate point, try to provide a bit more detail or statistics to back up this statement. This will improve the depth of your examples.

coherence cohesion

There are a few grammatical and spelling errors (e.g., 'effciency' should be 'efficiency', 'Europian' should be 'European', 'intative' should be 'initiative'). A quick proofreading session can help you catch these minor issues and polish your writing.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear and strong topic sentence, which guides the reader through the rest of the paragaph. This will help to maintain clarity in your argument and ensure each point is well-discussed.

task achievement

You've done well to identify the main cause of resource depletion and suggest a relevant and practical solution. These points are clear and logical.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, main body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This logical flow makes your arguments easy to follow.

task achievement

You've used relevant examples to support your points, such as the use of SUVs in the United States and the high rates of recycling in Germany.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

306 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Today, many young people spend too much of their free time at shopping malls. This can considered negative for young people and society generally. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Youth is the national treasure of today's communities, they have the power to create a difference and to change the future. Recently adolescents are directed more and more toward spending much more time in the shopping centres which may generate a negative impact on society. I strongly believe that teenagers spare time is more precious and valuable than to be wasted in the shopping complexes for different reasons, one can be the hours wasted in the malls can be efficiently employed to do something more beneficial, another reason is the much time you spend in watching shiny commodities, the much tendency to spend more money.
4.5
band
Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?
There are species of animals that have almost disappeared, and a lot of other species of animals that are close to the same danger. In this essay, I will provide reasons and potential solutions.
5
band
Modern technology,such as personal computers and the internet, have made it possible for many people to do their work from home atleast part of the time instead of going to an office everyday. What are some advantages and disadvantages of this situation?
Nowadays, people can work from home due to the advancement of technology. Especially, computers and the Internet made ease on work from home, because of these modern technology highly qualified people can provide their services using computers and the Internet, rather than attend physically in the office . Although, it has many advantages, including disadvantages as well. So, in this essay, I will discuss about both perspectives that will illustrate benefits and drawbacks.
5
band
In some countries, birth rates are falling and experts say that by 2050 these countries will have far more adults aged 65 and over than children under 15. What problem might this cause in the future? Can anything be done to solve this issue?
In numerous countries around the world, a profound demographic shift is underway, characterized by declining birth rates and an aging population. Experts predict that by 2050, these nations will face the unprecedented challenge of having a significantly larger population of adults aged 65 and over than children under 15. While this demographic trend reflects advancements in healthcare and socio-economic development, it also presents a host of complex challenges for societies. This essay will explore the problems posed by this demographic imbalance and propose potential solutions to mitigate its adverse effects.
4
band
Schools are spending more time teaching traditional subjects such as history. Some people think they should rather spend more time in teaching skills that can help students find a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Some people believe that spending a significant amount of time teaching academic subjects such as history is beneficial, while others think that schools should focus on teaching practical skills to prepare students for future employment. I do believe that a balanced mix between the two opinions integers academic subjects and practical skills can lead to comprehensive education.

Natural resourses, such as water , forests and oil are being used at an excessive rate. What is the main cause of this problem? How can this issue be solved?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Today, many young people spend too much of their free time at shopping malls. This can considered negative for young people and society generally. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?

Modern technology,such as personal computers and the internet, have made it possible for many people to do their work from home atleast part of the time instead of going to an office everyday. What are some advantages and disadvantages of this situation?

In some countries, birth rates are falling and experts say that by 2050 these countries will have far more adults aged 65 and over than children under 15. What problem might this cause in the future? Can anything be done to solve this issue?