People say in order to prevent illness and disease, governemt should focus on reducing environmental population and housing problems To what extent do you agree or disagree

In the modern age, some people think to protect their
health
, the government should prioritize environmental cleanup to mitigate
health
risks associated with
pollution
. The writer of
this
essay claims they have will results in paying attention to those social problems. First of all, Investing in green infrastructure like parks and green buildings can reduce urban heat islands and improve air quality. Implementing stricter regulations on industrial
pollution
can decrease the emission of harmful pollutants. Improving public transportation systems can reduce air
pollution
and promote healthier lifestyles. Addressing housing problems
such
as overcrowding and poor living conditions can directly improve public
health
by reducing the spread of diseases. Creating more green spaces and ensuring access to clean water can significantly reduce the prevalence of illnesses. Promoting renewable energy sources can diminish air and water
pollution
,
thus
improving public
health
. Educational campaigns about the importance of environmental conservation and hygiene can indirectly prevent illness by influencing public behaviour. Investing in the cleanup of contaminated sites can reduce the exposure to hazardous substances that can lead to serious
health
issues. Support for urban planning that integrates
health
and sustainability can improve the
overall
urban living environment,
thus
preventing disease.
To sum up
, everything has been illustrated, it is crucial for governments housing issue to pay attention to declining
pollution
and housing sue By doing that, citizens can spend less on medical services and economy to one nation's economy
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Introduction Improvement
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Terminology Consistency
Ensure consistency in terminology ('environmental population' should likely be 'environmental pollution').
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Conclusion Enhancement
Revisit your conclusion to more forcefully restate your position and summarise your main points.
Organisation
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Topic Sentences
Effective use of topic sentences to introduce paragraphs.
Sentence Structure
Good variety in sentence structure.

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • mitigate
  • urban heat islands
  • green infrastructure
  • regulations
  • emissions
  • renewable energy sources
  • overcrowding
  • hygiene
  • contaminated sites
  • sustainability
  • urban planning
  • industrial pollution
  • public transportation
  • green spaces
  • living conditions
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