Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There is a debate among university
students
regarding the choice between focusing solely on their main subjects
and incorporating additional courses into their academic curriculum. While
some advocate for the importance of devoting all their time and attention to studying for their qualification, others argue in favour of pursuing a broader range of subjects
alongside their specialized studies. Personally, I align with the viewpoint that supports the inclusion of supplementary subjects
to the primary academic focus as it not only facilitates the acquisition of diverse knowledge but also
enhances employability.
In essence, it is beneficial for young people to seek additional knowledge in subjects
related to their major. This
provides them with an advantage as it opens up opportunities for pursuing additional qualifications, such
as a PhD. Moreover
, it enables them to address the needs within their community. For example
, a student studying psychology may benefit from taking additional social work-related units to fulfil the desire to address the needs within her society
Another reason for desiring to learn about other subjects
may be related to employability. Students
may seek additional subjects
to broaden their job prospects. For instance
, a student majoring in accounting may choose to minor in business law, thereby enhancing their opportunities to work as a tax accountant. Despite the advantages of pursuing additional subjects
, some individuals argue that focusing solely on specialized units is crucial. This
approach minimizes distractions and enables students
to excel in their primary qualifications. In other words
, a student studying psychology can devote their full attention to this
field in order to enhance their proficiency.
In conclusion, I wholeheartedly support the notion that students
should broaden their academic horizons by taking supplementary courses related to their majors. This
approach is conducive to developing a multifaceted skill set that can be advantageous in the competitive job market. Furthermore
, it can serve as a means to enrich their knowledge base, should they aspire to pursue advanced qualifications in the future.Submitted by caroloks on
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Introductory clarity
Ensure the introduction succinctly presents the discussion and your stance. The introduction in your essay sets the stage effectively but could be enhanced by briefly mentioning the arguments for both views.
Paragraphing & Main Ideas
Aim for clear paragraphing with one main idea per paragraph; this makes your ideas easier to follow. Your essay utilizes clear paragraphs, but making each paragraph's main idea more distinct could improve coherence.
Linking Words
Incorporate a wider range of linking devices to improve the flow of the essay. While your essay uses some linking phrases effectively, varying them can enhance readability and coherence.
Conclusion
Ensure the conclusion summarizes the essay's main points and restates your position clearly; you have achieved this well, but reaffirming your arguments might strengthen it.
Sentence Variety
Use a broader variety of sentence structures to showcase your language skills; your essay shows good use but diversifying further can enhance it.
Supporting Examples
Include more specific examples to support your points. Although your essay provides relevant examples, incorporating more detailed instances will strengthen your arguments.
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