Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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There is a debate among university

students

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regarding the choice between focusing solely on their main

subjects

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and incorporating additional courses into their academic curriculum.

While

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some advocate for the importance of devoting all their time and attention to studying for their qualification, others argue in favour of pursuing a broader range of

subjects

Use synonyms

alongside their specialized studies. Personally, I align with the viewpoint that supports the inclusion of supplementary

subjects

Use synonyms

to the primary academic focus as it not only facilitates the acquisition of diverse knowledge but

also

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enhances employability. In essence, it is beneficial for young people to seek additional knowledge in

subjects

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related to their major.

This

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provides them with an advantage as it opens up opportunities for pursuing additional qualifications,

such

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as a PhD.

Moreover

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, it enables them to address the needs within their community.

For example

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, a student studying psychology may benefit from taking additional social work-related units to fulfil the desire to address the needs within her society Another reason for desiring to learn about other

subjects

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may be related to employability.

Students

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may seek additional

subjects

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to broaden their job prospects.

For instance

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, a student majoring in accounting may choose to minor in business law, thereby enhancing their opportunities to work as a tax accountant. Despite the advantages of pursuing additional

subjects

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, some individuals argue that focusing solely on specialized units is crucial.

This

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approach minimizes distractions and enables

students

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to excel in their primary qualifications.

In other words

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, a student studying psychology can devote their full attention to

this

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field in order to enhance their proficiency. In conclusion, I wholeheartedly support the notion that

students

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should broaden their academic horizons by taking supplementary courses related to their majors.

This

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approach is conducive to developing a multifaceted skill set that can be advantageous in the competitive job market.

Furthermore

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, it can serve as a means to enrich their knowledge base, should they aspire to pursue advanced qualifications in the future.

caroloksWed Feb 28 2024

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Introductory clarity

Ensure the introduction succinctly presents the discussion and your stance. The introduction in your essay sets the stage effectively but could be enhanced by briefly mentioning the arguments for both views.

Paragraphing & Main Ideas

Aim for clear paragraphing with one main idea per paragraph; this makes your ideas easier to follow. Your essay utilizes clear paragraphs, but making each paragraph's main idea more distinct could improve coherence.

Linking Words

Incorporate a wider range of linking devices to improve the flow of the essay. While your essay uses some linking phrases effectively, varying them can enhance readability and coherence.

Conclusion

Ensure the conclusion summarizes the essay's main points and restates your position clearly; you have achieved this well, but reaffirming your arguments might strengthen it.

Sentence Variety

Use a broader variety of sentence structures to showcase your language skills; your essay shows good use but diversifying further can enhance it.

Supporting Examples

Include more specific examples to support your points. Although your essay provides relevant examples, incorporating more detailed instances will strengthen your arguments.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

326 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Broaden
Perspectives
Specialize
Critical thinking
Problem-solving skills
Career success
Interdisciplinary connections
Structured path
Clear goals
Creativity
Innovation
Academic credibility
Recognition
Balance
Exploring

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Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that climate change could have a negative effect on business. Other people think that climate change could create more business opportunities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should make efforts in reducing environmental pollutions and housing problems. To what extent do you agree to disagree with this statement?

In recent years, there has been an increasing trend of people from cities buying second homes in the countryside. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?