Some people say that in order to prevent illness and disease, government should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Some people believe that to prevent the occurrence of illness, higher authorities should concentrate primarily on reducing environmental
pollution
and addressing housing problems
. However
, I completely disagree that the government should focus solely on these two factors. Let me elaborate on my perspective.
Environmental Pollution
and Disease
Prevention Environmental pollution
significantly impacts public health. Unhygienic surroundings serve as breeding grounds for mosquitoes and fleas, which spread many diseases. By addressing environmental pollution
, governments can mitigate these risks. For instance
, if authorities take measures to reduce air pollution
, water contamination, and toxic waste, they can prevent certain illnesses. However
, focusing solely on the environment will not suffice.
Housing Problems
and Disease
Control In addition
to environmental concerns, housing problems
play a crucial role in disease
prevention. Homelessness and inadequate living conditions contribute to the spread of infectious diseases. In densely populated metropolitan areas where accommodation is scarce, homeless individuals often live in unsanitary conditions. These individuals are at high risk of carrying and transmitting diseases. Therefore
, improving housing infrastructure—ensuring access to clean water, sanitation, and safe shelter—is essential.
While
addressing environmental pollution
and housing problems
is vital, it is not the sole solution to preventing illness and disease
. A holistic approach that includes healthcare, education, sanitation, and lifestyle awareness is necessary. While
this
viewpoint has merit, I contend that a more comprehensive approach is necessary that
governments should allocate resources to multiple fronts, recognizing that a multifaceted strategy is more effective in safeguarding public health.Correct word choice
for
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Argument Development
To enhance your essay, consider developing your arguments further by including more diverse examples and evidence to support your viewpoint. This will make your arguments more compelling and grounded.
Linking
Try incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs, which can increase the readability and coherence of your essay.
Depth of Analysis
While your essay addresses the topic broadly, for higher scores, explicitly outline how alternatives to focusing solely on pollution and housing can be implemented, adding depth to your analysis.
Introduction
Your introduction clearly states your position, providing a good foundation for your essay.
Balanced Argument
You successfully address both sides of the argument, demonstrating an understanding of the complexity of the issue.
Structure
The essay is well-structured, with clear paragraphs that discuss distinct aspects of the topic, which aids in overall coherence and cohesion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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