IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say it is more important to plant trees in the open spaces in towns and cities than to build more housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is a view that the relative importance of planting
trees
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 in open spaces,
such
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 as cities or towns is better than building more accommodations for residents.
While
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 the construction of buildings has many positive effects, I believe that the growth of the number of
trees
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 can just only lead to the reduction of
air
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pollution
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,but
also
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 provide the necessary equipment which is made from them. On the one hand, planting new saplings of
trees
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 across the cities is playing a vital role in avoiding some kinds of issues related to
air
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pollution
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. The reason for
air
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pollution
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 is that many cars utilize natural fuel and
as a result
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 of burning
this
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 liquid, the
air
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 is polluted and generates harmful oxygen.
Whereas
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, people breathe
this
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air
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 and face challenges associated with health issues.
However
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,
trees
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 are able to prevent
air
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pollution
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as well as
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 purify the
air
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.
On the other hand
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, some people can use
trees
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 for other purposes that can impact beneficially on
overall
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 productivity. Most probably, all necessary equipment,
such
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 as tables, chairs, shelves and more are made from wood by polishing. Even the most important thing is paper which is prepared in factories by passing several processes. Admittedly, one of the crucial things is paper can assist in increasing job productivity.
In addition
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, many countries' currency is generated from paper.
As a result
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 of
this
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, a part of our life is related to the growth of
trees
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 and planting as well. In conclusion, some argue that planting
trees
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 is more vital for our life in terms of all sides than overbuilding houses for the community. In my view,
trees
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 have a host of positive ways to avoid polluting the
air
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 and enhance the efficiency of education or work.

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task achievement
Develop your ideas more fully, and try to provide more specific examples and detailed explanations to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Work on improving the clarity of your ideas. Some parts of your essay are a bit vague or hard to follow.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between paragraphs. Ensure that each idea transitions smoothly to the next.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
Your main points are relevant to the topic and you provide some support for your arguments.
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