Many children no longer read books and instead spend their time using modern technology. While some people think this is a positive trend, others think it is a problem. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
During
this
era, there is a phenomenon of Linking Words
children
that are no longer interested in reading books and prefer spending their time using modern Use synonyms
technology
. Use synonyms
This
phenomenon opened a discussion between Linking Words
people
and Use synonyms
this
essay will try to explain the positive and negative.
Modern Linking Words
technology
has brought so many advantages in various aspects of life. Back in life before the year 2000, maybe Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
back
Rephrase
apply
then
could not imagine how they could communicate with another person on a different continent just by typing in their gadget. Linking Words
Gadgets
are Use synonyms
such
a big innovation in modern Linking Words
technology
as they can help Use synonyms
people
to do their work easily, without exception Use synonyms
also
for Linking Words
children
's entertainment. During Use synonyms
parents
' busy time, Use synonyms
gadgets
will help them Use synonyms
to
entertain their kids by just watching YouTube videos or playing mobile games. By watching YouTube videos, it is not often that their son or daughter can learn faster and have more universal knowledge.
From the prior paragraph, Verb problem
apply
gadgets
seem to be a good thing for kids. Use synonyms
That is
not a wrong way of thinking, but Linking Words
parents
should Use synonyms
also
know what is the drawback of it. If they lean so much into Linking Words
gadgets
Use synonyms
due to
their busy work, their Linking Words
children
will get addicted slowly to Use synonyms
gadgets
. The worst case is when Use synonyms
people
take away the gadget from their hand, they will get angry or cry Use synonyms
due to
their addiction. Linking Words
Besides
that, if Linking Words
parents
are not aware of what their Use synonyms
children
watch on their Use synonyms
gadgets
, there is a possibility of watching content Use synonyms
that is
not supposed to be watched at their age. Linking Words
This
Linking Words
also
will be a problem for them.
Based on the above paragraphs, of course, modern Linking Words
technology
will have positive and negative impacts on Use synonyms
children
. Use synonyms
Parents
Use synonyms
also
cannot deny the helpfulness of Linking Words
gadgets
for their kids, so they need to act wisely by creating rules so the drawback possibility can be reduced.Use synonyms
Submitted by rifqiesap on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Try to explicitly state your own opinion on the issue. While you discuss both views, adding a personal stance would strengthen the essay's argumentative component.
coherence cohesion
Work on your introduction and conclusion. Make sure to briefly present the topic and your opinion in the introduction and summarise the main points with your stance in the conclusion for a stronger impact.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. This could enhance the persuasiveness and depth of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Consider using a wider variety of sentence structures and transitions to link ideas more smoothly. This will improve the readability and sophistication of your writing.
task achievement
You have nicely outlined the advantages and disadvantages of modern technology for children, which shows a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure of your essay is logical, allowing for easier understanding of your points.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example