IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Students should pay the full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree of disagree?

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Some people argue that
university
Use synonyms
tuition
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 should be paid completely by the
students
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 themselves
instead
Linking Words
 of relying on scholarships or social grants.
While
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 it is true that individuals benefit from a college education, it is important to recognize the broader societal
benefits
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 that come from having a well-educated population.
This
Linking Words
 essay completely disagrees with
this
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 idea. Subsidizing
students
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'
tuition
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 fees is a way to encourage
students
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 to develop their abilities on the path to conquering knowledge. Universities often provide
benefits
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 to
students
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 because
university
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tuition
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 is very high, which is a financial burden for both
students
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 and their families.
In addition
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, these
tuition
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 subsidies are creating conditions for
students
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 in difficult circumstances who study well to continue studying at
university
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.
For example
Linking Words
, a high school graduate whose family is quite poor will refuse to go to college to work, thereby society will lose a potential candidate.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the government supports
university
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students
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as well as
Linking Words
benefits
Use synonyms
 the community. When
students
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 are relieved about
tuition
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 fees, they will focus on studying to develop themselves and contribute to society.
Besides
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 benefit aims to encourage
students
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 to choose the
university
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 path, thereby contributing to improving the intellectual level of countries.
For example
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, if
students
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 receive scholarships, they will have the motivation to study and the enthusiasm to contribute their efforts to social development. In short, individuals can receive many
benefits
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 from
university
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 education, through which
students
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 develop comprehensively and become talented people who contribute to society. So I believe that
students
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 not having to pay full college
tuition
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 is a positive development.

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Structure
Great job in structuring your essay with a clear introduction, comprehensive argument body, and conclusion. This structure supports a logical flow of ideas.
Coherence
You've used cohesive devices well, which helps in creating a coherent argument throughout the essay.
Further development
You could improve your essay by expanding on specific examples to support your arguments. Providing more detailed instances can enhance the persuasiveness of your argument.
Paragraph focus
Make sure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea for clarity and effectiveness.
Task response
Your essay successfully addresses the topic and provides clear reasons and examples on why you disagree with students paying the full cost of their university studies.
Depth of argument
The argument is comprehensive and looks at the issue from multiple angles, effectively showing the broader implications of providing subsidized university education.
Coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a natural and cohesive flow of ideas, which is achieved by effectively linking sentences and paragraphs.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • beneficiary
  • accountability
  • economic mobility
  • social inequalities
  • subsidized education
  • vocational training
  • deliberate choice
  • earning potential
  • public funding
  • societal benefits
  • innovation
  • self-financing
  • social mobility
  • economic equality
  • grants
  • scholarships
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