some people believe that watching TV is bad for children, while others claim it has positive effects for children as they grow up. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #tv #children #effects

There is no doubt that watching

television

is seen as a potential part of

people

's lives.

However

, some

people

argue that watching

television

is bad for

children

while

others believe that it has many benefits for

children

. In my view, there are both disadvantages and advantages to watching

television

, which will be discussed below. First of all, there are some negative effects that young

people

can get from watching

television

For example

, if they spend too much time watching

television

, they may develop eye problems. They may

also

become addicted to

television

. They

also

become isolated from society because they spend their time watching

without doing any outdoor activities.

On the other hand

, it cannot be denied that watching

has many benefits for

children

. It can help develop their imagination and find their passion by watching celebrities or inspiring

people

. Watching

also

enhances their knowledge.

For example

, there are a lot of educational

shows, that will help the

children

to learn some soft skills or

also

academic knowledge.

Besides

, when

children

watch

, they may have opportunities to improve their language skills

such

as listening and reading.

For example

, almost all

shows speak very fast, so if they want to understand what they are watching, they need to improve their listening skills.

To sum up

, several

people

say watching

has a bad effect on

children

However

, others think that

has a good effect too and I believe that

has a lot of disadvantages for kids

Submitted by [email protected] on Thu May 09 2024

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Task Achievement

Make sure to give a clear personal opinion in the conclusion, reinforcing your stance on the topic.

Task Achievement

Expand on your examples by providing more detailed scenarios or specific shows that align with your points.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use more varied linking phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion

Consider organizing your essay by discussing each viewpoint in separate paragraphs before presenting your own view for clearer structure.

Task Achievement

The introduction sets a balanced tone for the essay, outlining both viewpoints effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion

Good use of an organized structure to present both sides of the argument before concluding.

Task Achievement

You successfully acknowledged both advantages and disadvantages of watching TV for children, showing an understanding of the prompt.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

253 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary behavior
unrealistic perceptions
creative pursuits
social development
emotional development
constructive content
screen time
parental guidance
critical thinking
active learning
age-appropriate
media literacy
family bonding
moderation
perceive

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